I'll try to go in order of events.....bear with me here.

Since last Tuesday, I've begun to be weaned off Depakote and have begun to be slowly introduced to Topamax. In the first time in most my life I have gone an entire week, episode free of any sort of seizures! You have no idea how happy this makes me! What a relief it has been! Not only has the medication been working great so far, the neurologist was really wonderful. He sat down and really listened to me and took me seriously. His nurse gave me her card and told me if I had any problems, day or night, to give her a call, that she or her assistant will be available. How wonderful is that? Especially compared to my old neurologist (that my aunt and I shared) that told my aunt after she had a full blown seizure, that he couldn't recommend her to anyone and she would just have to wait until he got back from vacation. NOW COME ON FOLKS!!! I should of changed neurologists long ago! Now my aunt wants to him! She's going to see if she can get a referral from her doctor. No matter. I have a new one now and he's wonderful and the new meds are wonderful.

After I went to the neurologist, I got my medical release and renewed my driver's license. Since it expired APRIL OF 2004!!! I had to take the dang test again. (I passed) But what a headache! After getting my license-went and voted, of course!

Just this Saturday went to my friend, Brad's, wedding. We grew up together. He's wedding was all the way down in Mt. Pleasant. A 3hr drive!!! A very boring 3 hr drive. My best friend Summer went with me so it made it easier. It was a blast seeing all my old friends. I hadn't seen some of them for almost 10yrs. Scott, Brad's twin brother, is married and has 2mo old baby! Scott is also buddies with my cousin Davie. Scott is a deputy sheriff and Davie got to break him in. I got a lot of pictures to black mail Scott with! I can't wait to send them to Davie!!!  Anyways, that's what all the photos are from. Summer and I ended up playing desinated driver for everyone. We drove everyone to the hotel. Hardly anyone could stand! Matt and Scott are usually pretty serious and responsible but they were the most funny and easy going of them all.

 There are so many that I'm just going to have to burn disks and mail them to everyone. Summer and I didn't end up getting home until like 3:30am and didn't go to sleep till about 4:30am!! We still ended up waking up at 11am. We didn't sleep in as late as I thought we would.

I managed to drag my butt outside and rake up and bag my leaves. I wanted to go to Kville but by the time I was done it was already 3pm.

So, aside from working, that's been my hectic schedule. This Sat we're getting pictures of the kids and of Chris and I. Sunday I plan on making up that trip to Kville and seeing my folks. Another busy weekend ahead. Never stops, does it?

By the way....I had a customer screaming and yelling at me asking me who sent her an order form from the band event her student attended (that she already paid for at the event) I tried to explain to her that even if she paid for it at the event we still send it out so they would have an option to order more, have a copy of the order number, or whatever other reasons but she would not shut up!! I asked her nicely to please calm down so I can explain. Immediatley she yelled at me "Don't tell me to calm down! blah blah blah blah ....' you get the idea. I couldn't get in a word edge wise to help her so I hung up on her. Sorry, you call for me to help you but you won't let me. Hmmmmmmm. You're loss, idiot.

Sorry. Had to vent.

This is my beautiful mother, Christie Marie. She just turned 44 in August (if I remember right-lol!) She has been divorced from my father since I was about 12. She has raised my sis and I without child support. She has worked at 3M for about as long as she's been divorced. She works 12 hour night shifts, and has worked them since the first day she started there. She had a hard time raising us on her own. Our father behaves like a child himself. She seriously had one income. Once in a blue moon Dad would send in $100. That was it. He didn't even pitch in for clothes, wants, anything at all. (So mothers out there-if your ex pays child support and is there for your kids, count your blessings!) Mom worked her ass off for us. I love her with all of her my heart and I was an ungrateful little witch growing up. My sister and I made things more difficult by fighting 24/7. I guess, we were just typical teenage girls. Today, I do everything that I can to show my appreciation for all that she has done for us. Now that I'm older I understand.It brings me to tears every time I think about everything that she has done for us then and all that she does for us now. I wish there was some way to express the love and gratitude I have.

My mother and I are so much alike. For one, look at us. We could almost pass as sisters...more so than my own goofy sis and I! Personality wise my Ma and I both like to work out in the yard, both love to read. We are also both artistic, very independent, crafty, home bodies, practical jokers, giving, loving, and we both have really, really big laughs. Once we start on a job, we get it done. Ma and I are like little song birds with clipped wings that would prefer to stay in our cages with our families where my sis is like an eagle, though she loves the family, she still wants to soar (though it is sometimes heights we would prefer she not go). Our differences are little things...she likes sci-fi books and movies, notme. Other things....I can't think of at the top of my head. Oh! I hate her shower curtain. It's ugly as hell!!

I LOVE YOU, MOMMY!!!!

   Oh, baby!!

This entry is about my all time favorite band. You think they are just another band? Think about how long they have been around! All that musical talent and creativity. It's not all about sex, drugs, rock and roll, folks! Those things did break up the band at one point but they also never hurt really hurt thier music. lol! Here's some random facts and lyrics of my favorite wailers!

Janie's Got A Gun

Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Her whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun                                           
What did her daddy do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Janie was arrested
they found him underneath a train
But man, he had it comin' Now that Janie's got a gun
she ain't never gonna be the same.

Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did her daddy do?
He jacked a little bitty baby
The man has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under the lightning and the
thunder knew that someone had to stop the rain

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did her daddy do?
It's Janie's last I.O.U.
She had to take him down easy and put a bullet in his brain
She said 'cause nobody believesme. The man was such a sleeze.
He ain't never gonna be the same.

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah
yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Everybody is on the run

Janie's got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Because Janie's got a gun
Janie's got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Janie's got a gun                                             

What It Takes Lyrics 

There goes my old girlfriend, there's another diamond ring
And, uh, all those late night promises I guess they don't mean a thing
So baby, what's the story? Did you find another man?
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
When you don't look back I guess the feelings start to fade away.
I used to feel your fire
But now it's cold inside
And you're back on the street like you didn't miss a beat, yeah

[Chorus:]
Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was
good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go.

Yeah
Girl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. Fine
but your love made me a prisoner, yeah my heart's been doing time
You spent me up like money, then you hung me out to dry
It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise
'Cause you had me in deep with the devil in your eyes

[Chorus]
Guitar!

Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own Yeah, yeah, yeah
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone
Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch
Tell me that mylovin' didn't mean that much
Tell me you ain't dyin' whenyou're cryin' for me

[Chorus]

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was
good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
No no no no 'cause I don't wanna burn in paradise

Dream On Lyrics

(all blinkies on this entry represent my best friend)

This is my best friend, Summer Joy. How do I begin to describe how wonderful she is? First, as you can see, she is beautiful! She is very intelligent, open minded, honest, faithful, and loving. I can always count on her to be by my side whenever I need her. She is a great listener, even if she doesn't agree with everything I have to say, she always considers my thoughts and ideas. I can tell her EVERYTHING and she never thinks less of me. She loves me no matter what-just as family should. It is so cute because even though she is so intellectual she is still easily amused (for example, farts crack her up like a school boy) She is very curious about everything around her. She loves meeting new people and learning everything about them-not because she's a snoop but because she loves to learn about others people's lives. She and I have grown up together and learned a lot. We've been through a lot of heart aches and smiles, and a lot of stupid moments that we hope only we remember (but forever try to forget). We've learned from eachother and survived quite a bit because of eachother. I don't know what we would do if we didn't have eachother to lean on for love and support. Yes, our men are wonderful but sometimes, we just need our sisters. No offense, gents!

I know you read this Summer so I just want you to know, I love you with all my heart and I know you know that but, I can never tell you enough what you mean to me. Whenever I say my family is the only thing that means anything to me, you are in that category, baby! You're my sis at heart. The day I lose you, a day a piece of me will die.......

so......everyone who reads this, please.....support

On Jan 1, 2001, in my 5th month, our son, John Thomas had died. This picture grabbed me because he was about this size. If I carried him for two more weeks he would of had a chance. I don't think I need to say anything else to explain the ache in my heart that I will have for the rest of my life.

Yesterday was my step daughter's 17th birthday. I hope she enjoyed her day. We had a b-day dinner w/her mom. That's always weird. I mean, I enjoy that we can get along and act like civilized adults. I get very uncomfortable though, when Chris says certain things to me or shows me any affection. It's like I want to spare her more pain. She's knows we're together, she doesn't need it rubbed in her face. I'm always like that when Ashli is over, too. Chris gets mad with me cause I will hardly ever show him any affection in their presence but I just don't want it to seem like  we're flaunting it. Does that make sense? Anthony isn't as much as a problem, as hard as it still is sometimes for him, he and I get along great. I'm more comfortable around him. He's taken the time to give me a chance and even shows affection towards me. I love it. He's such a good kid. Both of them are. And they are both so beautiful and smart. I'm always bragging about the kids and showing off their pictures. Even though I don't have a bond with Ashli , I still love them both and will always be here for them. I hope their mom knows that I will protect those two with my life.

But Lori, if you happen to read any of this, know that when we are all out at the same place and Chris and I do or say anything to offend you or hurt you in any way it's without intentions. I try to spare you anymore pain. Chris can just deal with it. Even though I've explained to him why I act that way when you and/or Ashli are around, he doesn't seem to understand. Just know that I am trying.

On Thursday, some idiot, who doesn't know how to drive, destroyed my car! The girl with her  SUV thought she was invinsible. I was in the far right lane all of a sudden in the far left lane (on the interstate) I saw this SUV sliding out of control. I slowed down because I didn't know what she was going to do. All of a sudden she whips around and is crossing right in front of me then BOOM! Now my brand new car is bashed all to hell as you see in the pic. We haven't even made the first payment! And get this! This is the SECOND time she's done this! You would think she would learn. But I guess not, she was a dumb girl in a 4wd SUV. What an idiot!Anyone who reads this that drives an SUV. Your tires do not stick to the ground any better than anyone else's . Your vehicle is only good for getting you out if your stuck, otherwise it's worthless. Almost all of you drive like you rule the road. Why don't you tell me how cool you are when I see you a mile down the road, stuck in the ditch after you passed me or how cool you'll be when I sue your butt for being a idiot.

Sorry. I'm a little upset.