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Doggedly searching for the crux of the biscuit.
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Simpsons did it.
There is nothing new under the sun. Here's the second story in under two years (first one here) where a teenage boy dug up a corpse and cut off the skull to use for a bong. I know it sounds like a compelling idea, kids, but try to work a little originality into your drugs and desecration. It won't seem like a big deal now but, believe me, you'll be glad you did down the road.
Only goes 25 miles per hour...
...but you'll look awesome all the same.
The apostrophamily.
One of the teachers at Noah and Cassidy's daycare came over and shot a CD full of pictures of us and the kids, and I've put a few dozen of them up at my Flickr page. For a funny-looking fellow, I do make some pretty children.
In Case of Upsets
If someone turns in a big upset in the last minutes here, at least Barack Obama has other career opportunities. View the photo gallery at this link...
Hand soap.
Creepshow.
Thanks, KJ!
WTF Tuesday.
Following up on Fever in the Funkhouse (which gets steadily more awesome with repeated viewings), asl sent me a couple of musical links from April Winchell's blog that I'm passing on gratefully. First, Norma Lee wants Jesus to come sit on her heart and then, possibly the most confusing use of blackface ever.
Fever in the funkhouse.
Nick is gettin' down.
Early turnout.
The numbers of registered voters in North Carolina:
Democratic: 2,632,402
Republican: 1,933,645
Unaffiliated: 1,244,538
We have closed primaries, so 4,566,047 voters eligible to take part in the primaries. And you'd expect turnout to be low for the Republican primary, what with the nomination already being decided. The State Board of Elections reports just under half a million votes were cast during the early voting period.
I'll be interested to see what the final numbers are come polls closing tomorrow.
Wedding brawl update
The previously mentioned Wielechowskis say they were not fighting each other (just arguing, but specifically that he never "karate-kicked" her) and that the "Good Samaritans" were attacking them, not helping her.
"I will concede that my client and his wife were probably making a lot of noise," Mr. Mielnicki said. "They were euphoric and intoxicated. They were being silly." He said the pair was arguing loudly because Dr. Wielechowski, who was toting four six-packs of beer, couldn't find their room. The beers tumbled from the bag and Mrs. Wielechowski bent down to pick them up. The groom's lawyer said the female witness who spoke to police "couldn't have been in a position to see" the karate-style kick that allegedly knocked the bride to the floor. Both the bride and groom have stated repeatedly to their lawyers that no such kick was ever dealt, he said. Also, contrary to the police report, Mr. Mielnicki said four to five men assaulted the couple that evening, including the two "good Samaritans." He said, he believed "everybody involved in this was clearly intoxicated." [...] "The first blow was a sucker punch from a total stranger. It was unexpected, undefended, unanticipated and it hurt. For some unexplained reason, the man who had no shirt on punched my client in face," Mr. Mielnicki said.
Either way, it's another amusing photo at the link. That is not a happy dentist.
Plaintiff seeks sole custody of the crown and scepter.
I don't know much about Nevada governor Jim Gibbons and certainly don't have any opinions about his marriage, but this is odd.
Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons filed Friday for a divorce from his wife, Dawn, and asked for a court order to determine whether the governor or first lady will live at the governor's mansion. A complaint filed in Carson City District Court by Gibbons' lawyer, Gary Silverman, lists incompatibility as grounds for ending the couple's marriage of more than 21 years. Silverman also said he's seeking "a court ruling concerning the living arrangements" at the mansion in Carson City. Dawn Gibbons is staying at the taxpayer-supported mansion while the 63-year-old governor lives in their home in Reno.
Well, it is called the governor's mansion. Seems like that one ought to be pretty straightforward.
Quick hits.
LSD vs alcohol vs tree.
"Police in Texas have arrested a man for trying to cash a cheque at a bank for $360 billion. The cheque was made out to 'Fulla Comp and Entertainment,' the record company Fuller wanted to start. Police said Fuller stole the check from Paula Prettyman, the mother of Fuller?s girlfriend, Andrea Greer.
The fifth richest man in the world is building the world's largest and most expensive private residence: a $2 billion, 27-story tower in downtown Mumbai with 400,000 square feet of interior space. This is to replace their current home, a mere 22-story tower.
Ten insulting words you should know.
Unfortunate analogy, that one.
Thursday:
[Senator Clinton] said that she was sorry that she would miss the Kentucky Derby, but noted that Chelsea would be on hand. "I want everybody to place a little money on the filly," she said.
And the filly ran a great race, but came in second, then collapsed with two broken front ankles and was euthanized on the track.
Mouthface
A 91-second film by Antonin De Bemels.
Via Ectoplasmosis.
An administration of criminals.
I linked this over at Unfogged but nobody should miss it, so go read Beyerstein et al about the overt criminalization of the Bush Justice Department, now manifesting in burglaries and arsons against targets of politically motivated federal probes and various witnesses across Alabama and Mississippi. It goes without saying that this is standard operating procedure for Republican DoJs, having been tirelessly practiced all through the Nixon and Reagan administrations. And this, I suspect, is exactly the reason they have pushed back so hard against revealing even the tiniest details of their warrantless wiretapping and domestic surveillance programs, because they always had less to do with national security than opposition research and good, old-fashioned ratfucking. It is, after all, the only thing they do with even the tiniest shred of competence.
But this, much like the nearly unreported story that the news networks didn't bother to tell anybody that their bemedalled "military analysts" have almost uniformly been paid administration plants, pales in significance to the fact that Obama's former preacher (whom the media would like to remind you is blackblackblackityblack) said something inflammatory. And black.
'Til death do us part...
...and I will frickin' kill you in your sleep. Dear.
 On Saturday, they were exchanging their wedding vows. But soon, they were exchanging blows -- with each other as well as with members of another wedding party. [...] Dr. David M. Wielechowski, 32, of Shaler, a dentist, and his bride, the former Christa Vattimo, 25, each were charged with simple assault, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. She also was charged with public drunkenness. According to a criminal complaint, the Wielechowskis had just checked into the Holiday Inn-McKnight Road in Ross and were ready to enter their room on the seventh floor when they began arguing. Dr. Wielechowski "then used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor," the complaint reads. Upon hearing her screams, two guests of the hotel who had been attending another wedding reception ran to Mrs. Wielechowski's aid. But when they attempted to restrain Dr. Wielechowski, he began fighting the would-be rescuers only to have Mrs. Wielechowski "turn against [them] and also begin to assault them," according to the complaint. The fight moved from the hallway into an elevator, then spilled out onto the floor of the lobby, where Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski picked up metal planters containing live plants and threw them into the elevator at the two rescuers, the complaint says. Police said both Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski punched and wrestled with the rescuers, who were left with injuries that included cuts, a tooth knocked out and a possibly broken thumb. [...] The complaint noted that when police officers arrived, Dr. Wielechowski was lying on the floor of the lobby and Mrs. Wielechowski was "yelling loudly and was apparently highly intoxicated." Neither Mrs. Wielechowski nor her husband would comment following their separate preliminary arraignments yesterday. Mrs. Wielechowski, still dressed in her wedding gown, was picked up by her father and taken home. No one was awaiting Dr. Wielechowski, whose left eye was blackened and swollen shut. He was arraigned wearing tuxedo pants, a bloodied T-shirt and one shoe.
Ah, young love. Off to a promising start!
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