I realized that I’m falling for my friend and so I wrote out what I’m going to tell him to let him know before he leaves town. and i’m soooo nervous because i really adore him and it’s ridiculous. and he’s going away for awhile and i have to tell him. so here’s what i’m going to say. let me preface this with the fact that i’m happy with my little spiel, so don’t critique it please… it’s nerve wracking enough as is!
Also, you should know that I’ve known him for years.

Speech…

I write things down before I say them to keep my thoughts straight. I have a lot to say so bear with me and I guess I’ll just start from the top. If i can find the top that is… ok. Here goes (for the record, I was even nervous writing this because I tend to feel committed to what I write and I’m a spaz.) I think you are marvelous. The moment I saw you on Wednesday my hear jumped. not because I had some plan but because you were just there! My dear friend whose chicago visits I still look forward to even after all of our distance. and so you were there and you looked so handsome and I was ecstatic to see you. I really just expected to see you for an hour or two and then you’d be gone again but as time went on that became the last thing I wanted. When you decided to stay with me I was thrilled (by then I’d realized I was totally attracted to you but doubted that it was mutual)anyway, you kno wwhat happened next except what you don’t know is the part in my head because I didn’t want to freak you out and send you heading for the hills. However i’ve realized that I’ve not upfront now, in person, i’ll just spend the next five months dwelling. And feel free to disagree with what i’m about to say and understand that i don’t expect anything at all. But… I think I’m falling for you. And please don’t react yet!! Think first and if what i said is a problem just forget it entirely. If it’s not a problem then know that I’m not trying to start a relationship with you gone, and i’m— clearly feeling nervous and stupid. So… at the very least I insist on keeping you as a good friend and we’ll put this behind us. Ok. I’m done. Feel free to react.

I went to Chicago last week to get my visa and came back empty handed. Something hadn’t yet cleared on the CampusFrance website (the most evil bureaucracy in this whole process – they only let you communicate via email, but they don’t actually respond to your emails) so they’ll have to mail me my visa later. Now I’m just crossing my fingers.

In good news: I have my apartment reserved. I have been in contact with my temporary host family. I’ve been officially accepted to the University of Orléans. The only thing left is my visa.

Granted, that is kind of a big thing.

A round on my shawl takes me about an hour now. It’s getting big! I want it done in time, so I’m trying to find more knitting time. I’ll do a round before I go to work today.

Animals ROCK! I love them and its my dream to be a veterinarian. I loved them before I could even talk and it is my dream.

When my cat was a baby, he was half the figurine’s size. Now it’s half his size.

I had a cat when I was young – at my parents place. I’ll move soon, so it doesn’t make sence thinking about getting one now. In addition, I would prefer to get a cat when I live somewhere where it can go outside. I’ll see when this happens. An alternative would be to get an old cat which doesn’t want to be outside all the time – but then it needs some company and I work all day …
One day I’ll have one!

Well, it was a great idea but not terribly realistic without my own car, considering the (almost nonexistent) public transportation in my city. Now it’s less than one month until I move to France for a year (!) and I know from experience that finding interesting places in Orléans is no kind of challenge.

Hopefully I can resume when I come back.

I have now read five novels in French. I can watch French movies with just French subtitles. I can correspond by email with French people who don’t speak any English. I read Google news France every morning without the aid of a dictionary and do just fine. I’m getting there!

I talked to the owner of a fairly new bistro in an upscale, trendy part of the city, and he’s interested in hanging a few of my paintings soon. He said he’s had some work up one one wall for quite a while, and it’s time to change it. He liked what he saw on my website…so I’m to talk to him in a week when he’s had time to organize the take down of the other work!!!!! Wooo Hooooooo!

im new if anybody has any tips 4 me plz tell!!
but i think i’ll pick it up !
x

Volunteered in a small festival and found myself helping around with lots of small practical issues, finding practical solutions and kept focused on practical outcomes as opposed to focusing on feeling weird about being around people – and ironically, I had good contacts with lots of different people!

I’ve been working on mudding the drywall in the quilt studio…slow going what with having to let the mud dry before proceeding and so many coats needed…but it’s looking good. Next will be painting the living room. Hubby is working on external window trim, getting quotes on heating system, and figuring out what to do with the bonus room floor…we think we’re going to go with some kind of spray on system like for garage floors.

I have one more layer of mud to put on, then the final scraping/sanding…it looks very good, I must say. I’m pretty proud of myself so far…very hard work, but it will be well worth it!

PULP FICTIONBEN HURSPARTACUSCRASHLAYER CAKE
..........

I’m a little disappointed I haven’t found something truly different to do/try. But I will be going to Tampa for the first time next week. That’s my “something new” for July.

Just finished an online conference that has motivated me to get my act together. I got so much good information about autism and home schooling, that I’m really fired up to sort through the tons of supplies and throw out, or box up the stuff I’m not going to use this year! Wish me luck!

I want to work from home. It’s a big goal, but I am working on this.

i wanna be tehnoobshow beacause he famous

After all these years I can finally say I’m doing it and it feels great!

I’ve been thinking about death recently so thinking I decided to look on google!

A job came up at the local university, an ‘open-door’ job, very well paid, interesting, offering short-long term sessions, they don’t ask to have a thousand affiliations, and with opportunities to run groups!!! What a weird and exciting combination, just need to go through the job description and do some brain work…

Related to my sciatic pains my depression got worse too! Will things ever get back to normal? I am feeling so unhappy and insecure. I am doing my best to get / feel better but seems like it will take a time to get there!

? looking for family

We all gotta be

That’s the place to go someday

since my last entry on this goal and I’ve gone from 5 completed goals to 11. It’s exciting getting into double figures :-)

I need to get healthy by drinking more water and regularly exercising.

I have bought a massive piggy bank lol – whenever I finish work I put in 1/2 of it in. Then I leave the other half for my credit card bill.

I used to just save for my credit card. Never had money.

Now I know that even though I am paying my $1300 debt I still have money and am RICH not broke :) Works well… once I pay it off I will be keeping 70% of my earnings.

Best to have one that doesn’t open – shut forever – with taboo and cursings on it so you can’t touch lol

Once I have become organized, I would like to find time to go back to school.

I’m the most ugly horrible person to myself. I hate every aspect of the way I look.

I get sick each time I look in the mirror.

I want to be a better parent.

Horrible memories and thoughts plauge me at night.

...I think i’m going mad.

if you don’t have what you like you must like what you have

I need to apply the reading of the word to my life and take time to pray everyday.

be more focused on my actions to achieve better my goals

I want to start organizing my life around cleaning house.

I want to be on time for the Tropical Sno

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