Kid Finds His Own Real Life E.T... Facebook, Twitter and Last.FM on Xbox 360 – Why?.. It’s Always Sunny: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System (11/19/09).. Carmen Electra Sex Tape, More Like Strip Tape..
Wow this is amazing, this kid found a real life E.T. and took it home with him, kept it in his closet and fed it reeces pieces. So cool, I always thought that E.T. was just a character created for a movie, but apparently not… They resemble old Mexican ladies and speak in some crazy alien language, weird.
Microsoft rolled out the latest little update to the Xbox 360/Xbox Live service this week in the form of a couple applications. You can now access your Facebook, Twitter and Last.FM accounts via the Xbox 360 dashboard. Now I understand that Microsoft is trying to bring all aspects of social media onto their platform and make them easily accessible by it’s users, but why? The only one that makes any sense to have the Xbox 360 is last.FM and I think it’s great that they’ve added support for it, but what am I going to do with Facebook and Twitter on my Xbox?
To be perfectly honest I have not tried out the Last.FM application yet, but just in theory alone it sounds like a perfect match for the 360. It gives you the ability to stream all sorts of music through your TV. Last.FM is a great service that I use on my computer all the time and I think people will use it quite a bit when entertaining guests, etc. However, Facebook and Twitter seem absolutely pointless to use on the 360. Both applications are extremely basic and I can’t see myself ever using them again. I installed them the other day just to test out and see what sort of features they were offering, maybe Twitter would tweet out what game I was playing or what achievement I just received or maybe Facebook would update my status with the same information, but as far as I can tell they don’t do anything really.
The Twitter application is about as basic as you can get, picture what the Twitter.com homepage was when it first started out. It’s basically the updates from all of the people you are following and then a box where you can enter what you are doing, oh and you can access the Twitter trends. That’s it. I don’t know about most people, but I follow a lot of random people that I don’t always want to read about which is why I like TweetDeck and it’s ability to separate people into different groups for easier reading, not so much here. It’s just one long list of updates from all of the people you follow and it only fits about 10 updates per screen. I don’t know, maybe there was a demand for this, but I personally think it’s pointless and will never take the time to log back into it ever again.
Now let’s talk about Facebook. Again, why on the Xbox 360? It makes no sense! The interface is clumsy, it uses the same tile structure that the dashboard itself uses and it barely displays anything on the screen at one time. Maybe I didn’t dive into it enough, but from what I gathered in the few minutes I played around with it, I will never be logging in to it again unless it can do something like show me my Facebook friends that also have Xbox Live and what their gamertag is or something. I know it asked me when I logged in for the first time if I wanted to display my gamertag somewhere within Facebook, I said yes, but I have no idea where it’s displaying it. Maybe this is a feature and I just didn’t take the time to find it, or maybe my friends have the same feelings as me and find Facebook on the Xbox pointless and didn’t even bother logging in.
So are people actually using the Xbox 360 for Facebook and Twitter? I don’t know how many people have a keyboard or the chatpad hooked up to their 360 (not me), but it takes a damn long time to type anything using the on screen keyboard even if it is only 140 characters. So I don’t know, are you guys using this? Did you try it out at least? Am I missing the point of all this? Do the apps have the ability to update my Twitter with games I’m playing? Someone please tell me what I’m missing here, why would Microsoft waste their time doing this?
Another week, another Sunny. This week it appears as though Dennis is going to finally reveal some of his secrets to getting women, although in the past I don’t know that we’ve actually seen him get with too many women so I’m a little leery as to how well this so-called system works. I guess we’ll find out tonight! And on a side note, did everyone pick up A Very Sunny Christmas? You can find our review of the ridiculous Christmas special here.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Dennis tells the gang how he seduces women, but none of them can get the hang of it.
I’m warning you now, the recap below got a little long, I may have gotten slightly carried away with documenting everything that was going on, but it seems like they packed a lot of good stuff into this episode.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is the system that Dennis uses to seduce women and make them fall in love with him, even though they don’t know how madly in love with him they are, which is evident by the hateful voicemail his last conquest leaves for him, which he proudly plays for the gang. And that is how the show opens, with this voicemail from a girl that is obviously quite pissed off at Dennis. It’s at this point that Dennis sits everyone down to the explain the DENNIS system. It’s a series of steps, of which the first letters of each step spell out DENNIS, thus the DENNIS system.
D – Demonstrate value
E – Engage Physically
N – Nurturing Dependence
N – Neglect Emotionally
I – Inspire Hope
S – Separate Entirely
Dennis explains how he Demonstrated his value to a cute pharmacist by forging a prescription and and telling her that his grandmother was very sick, thus making himself look like he has value. After explaining this Frank jumps in with his technique. He would have bought a box of magnum condoms thus demonstrating that he has a monster dong, which Dennis shot down and instead suggested that he have a magnum condom peaking out of his pocket when he goes to pay, much better plan.
The next step is to ask her out and move on to the next step which is to engage her physically. Dennis explains that he tries to get to this step to without going on the date at all because it’s a waste of time. He takes a girl to a restaurant that doesn’t take reservations, but he instead walks her in front of a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays at which point Dennis offers to just get a pizza and watch a movie back at his place. This is where Mac comes in, he sits on the couch pretending that there is a black widow spider in his room so he can’t go in there, thus forcing Dennis and the girl to eat pizza and watch a movie on Dennis’ bed, which eventually leads to sex. Great line here, when the girl says “Pizza’s good” Dennis’ response “You’re the one that’s good”, then they start to make out.
The next step comes after you’ve had sex, naturally all women will then become dependent on you for things. Nurturing dependence is making the girl depend on you for things. Dennis suggests slashing her tires or having her car towed in order for her to depend on your for a ride. Or his personal go to is to create a fictional angry neighbor of which you will take care of. In actuality it’s Dennis calling her using a threatening voice, from a pay phone.
The next step is to Neglect Emotionally, stop taking her phone calls, cancel all plans, call her back as the angry neighbor but don’t rescue her this time. Dennis’ angry laugh when it cuts back to the bar was classic. And this is the best time to move on with the next step to Inspire Hope. Dennis shows up at the girls window and explains that he was distant because he was scared she was going to break his heart at which point they bang. This scene is hysterical, playing Take My Breath Away in the background we see Dennis and the girl against a blue background as they bang. And after the sex comes the last step, Separate Entirely, which is where Dennis sneaks out the window never to see her again.
Charlie brings up the idea that Dennis has set everything up so that he can get any of these girls back at any point at which Dee claims that there is no way, which Dennis takes as a challenge claiming he can have the girl back by the end of the day. Mac then tells Dee that she doesn’t get this stuff because it’s men stuff at which point the guys bust into a “Men Stuff” chant as they do some air humping and Charlie rides a bull while making monkey noises…. yeah weird scene there. Mac then suggests that Dee is getting DENNIS’d by her boyfriend right now, who happens to be ‘Soldier of Fortune’ from the previous episode. The guys don’t believe that Dee has a boyfriend, but Dee explains that he’s waiting for her in the car and has been waiting this entire time with the engine off and the windows up. When asked if Dee told him not to roll the windows down or turn on the air conditioner she tells them that she just didn’t tell him to do those things so he didn’t.
So back at the pharmacy Dennis goes up to the girl and apologizes and tells her that nana took a turn for the worse and that he’s doing terrible. She then tells Dennis that she doesn’t think his grandma exists because she looks into the Dr. Dennis mentioned, Dr. Toboggan. Dennis walks away defeated only to run into Mac who is swooping in on his chick which is apparently Mac’s system, The M.A.C. – Move in After Completion. He moves in on all the girls Dennis bangs after he’s done with them, he’s swimming in his wake. And of course, Frank walks up with his magnum condoms and a wad of hundreds explaining that he’s there to pick up Mac’s scraps. Mac makes the comparison of Frank’s activities to a mantis, which Frank loves and tells them to call him Mantis from then on. The guys back off as Dennis tells them that he’s trying to re-DENNIS the girl.
‘Soldier of Fortune’ aka Ben, takes Dee on a picnic which she assumes is one of his methods for playing her. She decides to leave on her own so she doesn’t have to depend on him, yet she ends up falling down a huge hill and then starts running through the woods. And now one of the best scenes in the episode, we get to see the waitress again.
The Waitress comes home from working at the local fair to find Charlie in her kitchen “fixing” her garbage disposal, but in actuality he’s been breaking in when she’s at work and putting hair down the drain. Back at the bar Charlie explains that he’s doing everything right and he can’t get passed the letter “D”. The system is too complicated for Charlie, he’s just going to go back to stalking. Dee walks in looking like shit because she spent the night in the woods. At this point Dennis interjects and tries to work out everyone’s problems by going into a sort of trance as he conducts an imaginary symphony. He comes up with a plan to solve everyone’s issues, at the fair.
Charlie is going to Demonstrate Value to the Waitress by winning a prize at her booth, and then giving the prize to the bustiest woman he can find. Dee has no value so her only hope is to lower Ben’s value by flirting with a Carny in front of him, which will be Frank posing as one. Mac is going to resume his role as the caring roommate and invite the pharmacist girl to the fair where Dennis will be waiting with a fake grandma.
At the fair Dennis brings the old lady that played the piano in the Nightman Cometh play. He’s pushing her around in a wheel chair as she makes comments about her lesbian grandmother having an affair with Susan B. Anthony. Charlie finds the waitress, but her game is not a game, it’s Speed Pitch, which just measures how fast you can throw. Mac and the pharmacist then run into Dennis and his “nana”. Dee gets Ben to paint his face like a lizard to which he responds “I Like Turtles” which is a nod to the great YouTube clip of the zombie kid exclaiming that he likes turtles to the news cameras. And now we get Frank, who is definitely not dressed like a carny and decides he’s taking a different angle as Dr. Mantis Toboggan and instead of letting Dee hit on him in front of Ben he walks up to Dennis and tells him that the tests came back and he has the HIV. That is apparently Frank’s angle, he wants 2nds from now on not 3rds, so his plan was to break down the girl by making her think she has the HIV then he swoops in…. great plan.
Back at the waitress’ booth Charlie throws a fastball at a whooping 15 MPH. Dee and Ben walk over and Dee finds a real carny who immediately stabs her in the stomach with a key because apparently Charlie told him to stab the Waitress and he was going to jump in and pull her away at the last second saving her life or something. Dennis runs over yelling “wrong, wrong, wrong”, Charlie was instead supposed to let the waitress get stabbed, hopefully hitting an artery and when she’s dying Charlie nurses her back to health making her totally dependent on him. Dennis tells everyone that they have no idea what they are doing and only Ben is the only one that is working the system, but Ben has no idea what he’s talking about. Dennis asks him if he really got his face painted like a god damn frog person for real, to which Ben replies “I’m a lizard”. And of course Frank then drops his magnum condom on the ground, that he uses for his magnum dong.
And the episode ends with the old lady sitting by herself asking if someone can give her a ride home. I thought it was a pretty good episode, Ben with his lizard face and his reactions to things was pretty hysterical and Charlie and his bag of hair were pretty good too.
Just saw this floating around with the title Leaked Carmen Electra Sex Tape, but in all actuality it’s just Carmen Electra and some other chick dancing around, stripping making out a bit and giving some person a lap dance. Now, the tape does cut off as soon as sex may have occurred, but in this clip there is no sex, sorry to disappoint (that should have been pretty obvious considering it’s on YouTube). But despite there not being any sex, who doesn’t like to see Carmen Electra dancing around in her underwear making out with chicks… gay dudes I guess, but for those that aren’t gay dudes, here you go, enjoy.
I got a coupon in the mail yesterday for a free $100 for Google Adwords, but since it’s for new customers only and I’m definitely an existing customer I have no use for it. So if anyone out there is looking into promoting their websites using Google Adwords and wants a free $100 to get you started, go ahead and use the promo code below. Take note of the date of this post though, if you came across this via Google or some other means and the date is old there’s a good chance someone already swiped this up, but it never hurts to try.
You know that movie that you see every time you go to the video store, but you just never grab it? That one movie cover that always catches your eye and you know you want to see it, but can never bring yourself to risk the money on it possibly being terrible? For me that movie was They Live. I can remember in high school (10 years ago) when there was nothing else going on we would just go to Blockbuster, spin around in the horror section and which ever movie we landed on was the movie we rented… Yeah, we rented some terrible movies, but despite how terrible they are, there are a couple I’ll never forget, like The Ice Cream Man with Clint Howard, what a terrible, terrible movie.
They Live had that movie cover that was just so intriguing that you knew you wanted to check it out because who wouldn’t love to walk around wearing some bad ass sunglasses looking at aliens all day. And actually I had no clue they were aliens until I actually sat down and watched the movie this weekend. I had always assumed they were zombies or skeletons or something closer to the horror genre not the sci-fi genre. But they were indeed aliens and the only person that can save the planet is Rowdy Roddy Piper whom you may remember from his skills in the ring with the WWF (now WWE).
Now I’m not writing this post to talk about the plot or it’s commentary on society or any of that crap, I’m writing this post to bring to light two of the greatest scenes in cinema history. The first, which you can see above, contains possibly the greatest ad-lib by an actor, ever. After beating up 2 cops, who were actually aliens, and stealing their guns, Rowdy Roddy Piper backs himself into a building thinking he’s going to be safe, only when he turns around he realizes he is in a bank holding a shotgun. As he scans the room he realizes that some of the people there are aliens and he decides to do something about it and that is when the famous line is uttered, “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum”. After he says his line he just starts blasting away at aliens in the bank spraying blood everywhere. It really is an amazing scene, and the way he delivers that line is so powerful and emotional… riiiiiight, that line is none of those things, but it is pure awesomeness. And apparently the line was completely ad-libbed by Rowdy Roddy Piper and it was a line he had written down for use in interviews during his stint at the WWF. Check after the jump for a WWF inspired fight scene that could possibly be one of the greatest fight scene ever.
As you can see our hero, Rowdy Roddy Piper, is fighting Keith David because Keith refuses to put on the sunglasses. All Rowdy Roddy Piper wants him to do is put on the glasses so he can see what the world is actually like, but Keith refuses thus leading to a fight scene of epic scale. And when I say epic, I mean Lord of the Rings epic. The fight has no music behind it, some ridiculous sound effects and just when you think it’s over it’s not. This fight lasts for 5 and a half minutes and it’s just two dudes wrestling around in an alley over a pair of sunglasses. The best part is when Rowdy Roddy Piper smashes in the car window, apologizes and kind of laughs before the fight continues. And yes South Park parodied this fight in the form of a Cripple Fight between Jimmy and Timmy in one episode. The parody was complete with crotch shots and the “mother f**ka” line, classic.
