I was looking at my doctor’s website yesterday and in particular the statistics on what they have treated. Ten per cent of patients are treated for depression.  How many more people are not yet at the stage of clinical depression, but are very unhappy?

Are you happy? If not, what can you do about it. Positive psychology  believes that it has the answer to happiness. Research has shown that 40% of happiness is under your conscious control. The other 60% is due to our circumstances, where you live, the family that you are bought up in and so on.

Happiness has two main components. You can asses yours by asking yourself the following questions:

• How satisfied are you overall with your life and are you progressing in your life goals?
• How often do you feel positive emotions and how often do you feel negative emotions?

If you are unsatisfied with your life then you are not happy. If you experience more positive than negative emtions, then you are generally a happy person. Authentic happiness is not about being happy all the time – this is an unreal goal. It’s more about feeling that life is good and that you feel a sense of well-being.

If you are not happy then how do you go about increasing your levels of happiness?

Positive Psychology says that thee are several activities that you can do to increase happiness. These include:

• Be grateful for some of the small things in your life such as a cup of coffee in the morning, your morning shower, taking your dog out for a walk .  Pay attention to these experiences, savour them, be thankful that you can enjoy them.
• Practise kindness and compassion for other people. Do someone a favour or a kind turn.
• Learn how to forgive those who have harmed you.
• Create goals for your life  and commit to achieving them.
• Maintain a fit and healthy body.
• Stop comparing yourself to others and being jealous of what they have.
• Learn how to manage stress

For  in depth information read the  The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want

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Do dolphins need self development?

This week I am in Florida. I met a dolphin called Rascal who let me swim with him. I also fed him some fish which he enjoyed. He seemed very happy with his life and probably needs no self development tips from me!

Dolphins lead a simple and natural life untroubled by:

• The recession
• Finding a job
• Paying the mortgage
• Taking up a health program

Perhaps your life is not that simple and you find that things just get too complicated.

One way to make life simpler is through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of concentrating on the moment, the now. You can do this through  sport, particularly individual sports  such as mountain climbing, canoeing, skiing, cycling or running.  Participants in these sports talk about being in the ‘zone’. In this state time appears to slow down, there is 100% concentration, where worrying thoughts about the past or future just disappear. There can also be a feeling of euphoria where the self is in perfect harmony with the life force.

Maybe dolphins feel this zone as they swim through the water.

Exercise that pushes you to exert yourself can not only be good for your physical health, but it can also help you cope with the mental stresses of life.

For more information on mindfulness and meditation to make life simpler, download my  book How to Manage Stress.

Can mindfulness meditation make you happy?

I have a friend that calls herself spiritual who attends an evangelical Christian church every Sunday. She also does lots of voluntary work in a Christian organization that distributes food to homeless people.

Despite her spiritual practice and her good works, she is not happy.   I also have some Buddhist friends who are miserable.

If you consider yourself to be a spiritual person then ask yourself the following questions:

• Does your spirituality make you happy?
• Do you struggle to make sense of life and how you fit into the larger scheme of things?
• Are you content with where you are, or are you reaching for some spiritual or mystical state that always seems just out of reach?
• Have you found your purpose in life?

If you answered no to any of the above questions, then your spirituality could be, instead or a source of comfort, a cause of conflict in you.

All this has got me think about spirituality and how genuine spirituality should, at the minimum, make you happy. What do I mean by the word spirituality? The best definition that I came across said:

‘Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the larger scheme; having beliefs about the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort’

I would add to this definition – ‘and makes you happy, at ease, and with a sense of well-being.’

What spiritual practice can provide this? Whatever religion you follow or do not follow, mindfulness is a great way to start. Although mindfulness is a component of Buddhism, it is practised today by people of all faiths, or even no faith.

Mindfulness allows you to witness yourself – your thoughts, feelings, the sights, sounds and other sensory information. In this witnessing state there is a tendency to remain calm and at peace. Mindfulness practitioners report that they feel a sense of stillness and connection to the whole universe.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Here is an extract from my book How to Manage Stress:

Mindfulness is a process of paying attention to the ‘now’. So much time is spent remembering the
past or looking forward to some future event.

One of the easiest ways of practising mindfulness is through walking. If possible do this in the
countryside or in a park if you live in the city. As you walk pay attention to your breathing. Then
look at the sky or the trees that you pass. Notice any physical sensations – the wind on your face,
the temperature, the intensity of the colours that you see.

The idea of this is to pull yourself away from the internal dialogue – the constant chatter of the mind
that mulls over events in your life, passes judgements on those around you, creates expectations
of future events. The internal dialogue stops you noticing what is going on around you. You are
not trying to stop the dialogue by force of will but by simply and gently taking your attention away
from it.

The benefits of Mindfulness are explained by Andrew Weiss in his book Beginning Mindfulness
are:
‘Mindfulness allows us to experience the delight of touching life deeply and authentically. It gives
us a way through suffering to joy. It encourages us to do all of this at every moment in our daily
lives.’

Mindfulness also means becoming a witness of our own lives. If you are feeling stressful or
anxious, step back and observe the stress or anxiety as if it was a program that you are watching
on television. By becoming the observer or the witness, you will find that the stress and anxiety will
start to diminish. It may also help to then place your attention on your breathing to make sure that
your are breathing deeply and at a slow place.

Now is the only time that is important. How often do we find ourselves worrying about the future?
Anxiety about the future takes up a significant portion of our thoughts. Worrying about the future
doesn’t help in any way. If you always live in the past or future you will never be able to relax. To
be in a state of relaxation means living in the present moment.

Download a free copy of the book How to Manage Stress

See also:

Meditation