I had the opportunity to talk to American-Phillipina fighter and champion Christine Toledo about her journey through Muay Thai. Practicing the sport at a high level and competing, for this athlete, was also a process of finding her place. Tom-boy, and accused of being a quitter, Muay Thai was one of the first things Toledo stuck with. Today she is world champion.
Exerpts from the interview in the next entry.
Check out her highlight video:
Also check out her website: www.christinetoledo.com, for upcoming events and more pics.
Dan Millman: Three Teachings "It is our very search for perfection outside of ourselves that causes suffering." - Buddha
Dan Millman, writer of the book Peaceful Warrior, gives three guidelines for living for living well.
1) Accept your emotions... they are the weather systems of your mind. Outward from there comes behavior, which you can work at changing.
2) Know your purpose--in any situation, know what you are looking for.
3) Act in accordance with that purpose.
Millman, of course, says it much better. Check out his video at:
Here is a little metaphor by Pema Chödrön, Buddhist nun. She discusses here our relationship to the structures we try to build in our lives: a career, a soft landing place, relationships, our homes, our own bodies. With these things...
“we are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with colored shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea” (Chödrön, When Things Fall Appart).
The key is to stop struggling with trying to hold things in place. The Buddhists call this "clinging". They are referring to the fact that we, as human beings, have a hard time letting go of the structures we have built and accepting that there is a time for death. And--more importantly--the moments of turmoil that accompany change, destruction, loss and death, these are key places to practice letting go.
It is easy to speak of letting go when things are stable. But the better terrain for practicing how to work with change is in the very heart of turmoil itself.
Do the opposite! How changing your habits can change your life...
The Buddhists say that life presents us with the same lesson over and over again until we learn it. Like an earth worm trying to find its way around concrete block, we bang our heads again and again on the same stone.
So, when you find yourself faced with the same unpleasant situation repeatedly, this probably means there is a lesson burried somewhere inside that you haven't mastered yet. Think of it like a video game where there's some trick to master before you can get to the next level.
In this situation, they key is to locate the impulse--the reaction, habit or assumption--that leads to the same, uneffective behavior and wait 2 seconds before reproducing it. Remember : if you don't like the results, then you need to change the behavior. So, instead of reacting as you normally would, breath in twice and in the time, think of what you could do differently. If you normally shut your mouth in the face of a frustrating situation, say something--anything. See how it feels. If losing your temper is your pattern, try waiting 10 seconds, even 2 seconds before reacting. You'll be surprised what you can learn to insert into these 2 seconds of restaint if you try.
Check out Seinfeld's George Costanza's funny take on the subject... and try not to get too carried away with doing the opposite!
The thing with losing something is that it plays all kinds of weird games on your head. Leave an old house or appartment, and you'll find yourself playing: "Things were better when..." It's even worse when you've made a big change. When getting over a past relationship, it's easy to get conned into actually or mentally picking up the phone and screaming "Come back!" even though there were very valid reasons for splitting up in the first place. For pete's sake, he let you shovel the stairs, make lunches, wipe up the beard-clippings around the sink, and then pretended not to notice that you carried in all the heavy shopping bags! But, admit it, you still have fantasies about strolling hand-in-hand through IKEA again.
So, what to do with the fact that it's easy to slip into making those around you pay for the fact that you've lost something, are missing somebody or have given something up. Imagine brushing the crumbs off the soft tablecloth at your favorite restaurant, looking your new flame in the eyes and saying : "But so-and-so never used to pick his teeth with the knife at the table..."? Yeah, and he was never--in five years--able to stay awake long enough to walk the trash out on time.
There are a few tricks, which if you put them down on the board at the right time can help with the "if only" game.
Focus on what you're sad about It's ok to miss somebody, to be sad that Fido ate the goldfish (again), or to miss the pretty (but beat up and now highly dysfunctional) car you sold. But with the exception of Nemo swimming to a premature death by doggy stomach fluid, there were good reasons for these choices. Don't daydream about going back on them. Just be sad about the things you miss. In time, the feeling of missing these things will lessen.
Old things have to die so new ones can be born Simple, but it's the cycle of life. You can't keep the old house and move into the new one, unless your last name is Gates and your first name is Bill. After being sad about the thing you had to give up, spend some time focusing on what you can have instead. Maybe now you get to take advantage of drinking from the milk carton and picking your toes on the sofa, because there's no one around to tell you different. Maybe you can actually walk to the store now instead of sitting your blob ass down in the car and driving for 30 seconds. Whatever it is, endings also mean new beginnings. If you're feeling down about losing something, focus on what you can expect in exchange.
Let life surprise you Approaching situations with expectations or by holding on to a state of mind carries limits along with it. A buddhist saying goes: "When a pickpocket meets the Buddha, he sees only pockets." Make sure you're not spending your time looking for pockets. If you obscess about filling the gap left by Mr. Wrong, you'll miss out on all the reality TV, Hagendaz, bar-make-outs and hairy legs that single life has to offer. Who knows, you might even be surprised what fun your new situation can give you...
Losing something is like taking a side-kick to the stomach: hurts like a bitch, but pain is temporary, glory is forever. Good luck with the painful part!
Fighter Feature PART 2: Sandra Bastian
Canadian fighter Sandra Bastian beat a German fighter on January 18, 2008, winning her first world title. Now in her mid-30s, the mother of three boys has been fighting for nine years, and now works at Mike Miles gym in Calgary, teaching Muay Thai classes and taking care of the gym’s clients.
Nothing Special: Fighter’s Way of Life
Sandra resists the temptation to see her fighter’s life as anything particularly unusual or special. Although she takes her status as a role model for her kids and other younger—especially female fighters—who might “think they can’t do this” seriously, Sandra repeats a few times: “It’s not a big deal. [Fighting] is just a way of life to me. I don’t see me as any better than anyone else.” Even her kids consider their mom’s life as nothing extraordinary. “They say: ‘It’s not a big deal. So what if my mom fights?’ It’s a way of life for us.” Training is so much a part of her everyday, that Sandra can’t imagine not going to the gym.
As a mother, Sandra has an interesting perspective on how her three boys see what she does.
“They think it’s pretty funny,” she tells me. “But in the same breath they’re like: ‘That’s my mom.’ And their friends are like: ‘That’s your mom?’ And they’re like: ‘Yeah, what’s the big deal?’ To them it’s no big deal.”
In fact, Sandra’s youngest son is ten. She’s been boxing for nine years. “[He] grew up with this way.” All three of her kids did. “They grew up hanging out in gyms and knowing that ok, mum’s limping. And they’ll say: ‘You should have blocked that one mum!’”
When asked if she feels that fighting has changed her, Sandra answer is mixed. “On some levels, yes,” she says. “I think I carry myself a little different. I have a different outlook on life. [Especially about people.] Because the sport [brings together] a whole bunch of different people from different walks of life, I find myself looking at people really different.”
But also, for Sandra there remains a relatively important separation between life inside and outside of the ring. “[The] person inside the ring for me is way different than the person outside,” she says. “I struggle with day-to-day things like everybody else does. The only difference is that when I get frustrated, I can go to the gym and hit things. [If] I’m having a hard time with my kids or at home, I can go to the gym or I can go for a run, and things and then maybe I can calm down and clear my head.” But otherwise, Sandra presents the image of a champion that is clear-headed and down-to-earth as they come.
A Parable A woman traveling across a field encountered a tiger. She fled, and the tiger ran after her. Coming to a precipice, she caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung herself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at her from above.
Trembling, the woman looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat her. Only the vine sustained her. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. She knew there was no escape.
Suddenly, she noticed growing on the cliff next to her a plump wild strawberry. Grasping the vine with one hand, she plucked the strawberry with the other and popped it in her mouth. It was the best fruit she had ever eaten!
From: http://www.udaypai.in/?page_id=13
Fighter Feature: Sandra Bastian
Canadian fighter Sandra Bastian beat the German fighter Zuleyha Turan on January 18, 2008, winning her first world title. Now in her mid-30s, the mother of three boys has been fighting for nine years, and now works at Mike Miles gym in Calgary, teaching Muay Thai classes and taking care of the gym’s clients.
When asked why she got into Muay Thai, Bastian says: “I always wanted to do what people say can’t be done, especially from a female side. [People said] “You can’t do it—you’re a girl”. But you know what? I can do because I’m a girl.”
Quiet Mind When asked about some of the major roadblocks she has faced as a fighter, Bastian says she often has a hard time with doubtful thoughts. “I always think: ‘Did I train hard enough?’ Or ‘I didn’t train hard enough, and what if they did this…?’” For Bastian, “the mental side of this sport is way more demanding than the physical side.” She explains that one of her biggest challenges has been pushing distracting self-talk out of her mind.
“I don’t think you ever go over it,” she tells me. But according to the Canadian world champion, you can learn from experience. It’s possible to develop a skill of limiting such negative thoughts by pushing them to the back of the mind. Rituals like the ceremonial Muay Ram (traditional Thai pre-fight dance) can help instill focus and mentally prepare. MUAY RAM EXPLANATION.
“Going in [the ring] you always get butterflies,” says Bastian. But Muay Ram becomes for Bastian a way of “mentally shifting [everything] out of [her] head.”
Bastian identifies a part of her success as a fighter as the capacity to maintain mental quiet and to be in the present. In getting ready for a fight, it “comes to the point where your body takes over and your mind is second.” As you silence your mind—with its chatting and limiting thoughts—you learn “to trust what you body’s going to do and just let it… You let the mind relax and the body overtake.” Your body almost knows better than your mind what to do.
But everyone has to find a solution of their own, says Bastian. “[We fighters at Mike Miles] all talk about [the mental aspects of fighting] and we relate stories back and forth, and pick up some things... [but] it’s… something that everybody has to learn on their own. Mentally you can’t train a group of people to do the same thing. [Everyone has to kind of find their own solution.]”
I interviewed 106-pound fighter Amy Davis from Idaho Falls, Idaho. Fighting in Muay Thai and ranked number one in the U.S. and number 5 in the World with the WIKBA, Amy Davis is a true lover of competition. She tells me that she has always wanted to compete and has always had a big desire to be the best. “I have always had this urge to be the “best” at whatever I do,” she says. “[That goes] even in training and practicing.”
“I always wanted to compete, even since grade school,” says Amy. “You know, I was a Tom Boy when I was younger, and I always wanted to be with the boys. And I wanted to show them that even though I was the littlest one in my class, I could do just what they could do.”
Often packaged with a competitive spirit, though, is an intense desire to win and to be the best. With this—in Amy’s case and undoubtedly in many others—is a real fear of losing.
Amy says her number one mental obstacle in the fight game is the fear of losing.
“I hate losing,” she tells me. “You know, for me, my fear of getting in the ring isn’t about getting hurt. It’s about losing. It’s fear of not doing my best. And I hate telling people that I lost… [And even if] your body is ready, … it’s your head that says: “I don’t know? Is it worth getting up in there for a loss?” And it’s a hard mental thing to get over.”
What does Amy Davis do to get past this?
“I tell myself it’s just a fight and there will be another one, another day. My mental trick is telling my nerves this is just a fight, and win or lose, there will be another day. I only get nervous because I want to win; I never have a fear of getting hurt.”
Amy also explains that losing can be a very productive experience, even if not always a pleasant one.
“I realize that I learn a whole lot more when I lose than when I win,” she says. “You know when you win, you’re just happy. But when you lose you say to yourself: “I didn’t do this, this, this, and this is what I have to work on”. So I feel I learn a lot more from it.”
Amy’s other piece of advice is to work at stopping your mind from giving your body limits.
“Your body can do [just about] anything. It’s just a question of getting past the limits that you’re mind sets for you. I just really believe in taking care of your body. And the harder you push it the more it will do… your body is an amazing piece of machinery and the harder you push it the more it responds.”
“Everything gets easier with experience. [You know] your body can do it, if your mind will [just] let it…”
Sunday's Fable : The Scorpion & The Frog
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. He set out on a journey through the forests and hills, climbing over rocks and under vines and going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver. All the while he thought he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
The frog was doubtful. "Well now, Mr. Scorpion!" he said. "How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't try to kill me?"
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he was still unsure. "What about when I get close to the bank?" he asked. "You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and. Out of the corner of his eye, frog saw the scorpion remove his stinger. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
Warrior Classics: The Art of War
Classical Chinese warrior philosopher Master Tsun--or Tsun Tzu--wisdom is collected into a work called "The Art of War". Although a lot of this piece is about military strategy and focuses on the qualities of the commander and the most effective ways of manipulating battles, Master Tsun has some great philosophical nuggets that can be applied by anyone wanting to follow the warrior's path.
For one thing, Master Tsun argues that actual battle represents a kind of defeat. In truth, a great military leader should be able to align the circumstances and manipulate the enemy into believing that battle is unnecessary: "to win a hundred victories in a hundred battles is not the highest excellence; the highest excellence is to subdue the enemy's army without fighting at all." This has to do with managing strategic advantage.
"All determinate situations can be turned to advantage. The able commander is able to create differentials and thus opportunities by manipulating his position and the position of the enemy. By developing a full understanding of the factors that define one's relationship with the enemy, and by actively controlling and shaping the situation so that the weaknesses of the enemy are exposed to one's acquireds strength, one is able to ride the force of circumstances to victory" (Roger Ames, introduction to Tsun Tzu).
One of the ideas central to Master Tsun's philosophy is that of yin and yang, or light and dark (incidentally, this concept is central ot much Chinese philosophy). The idea here is that all things wax and wane, and are governed by a particular kind of harmony--the balance between light and dark. This flowing--of darkness into day, of victory into defeat--can be picked up on. So, as a result, "strategic advantage" can be found in all situations, but the particular way of attaining such an advantage will differ. Thus, "an army does not have fixed strategic advantage or invariable position... none occupies a constant position; the days are both short and long; the moon waxes and wanes."
As a result: "The able comnader does not resist the rhythm of change but, finding its pulse, translates defining conditions into correlative terms as a means of controlling the situation, anticipating the enemy's movements, and making his victory inevitable" (Roger Ames, intro to Tsun Tzu). By tuning in to the basic harmony of reality, it becomes possible to exert minimum pressure at the right places to reap maximum results.
How does one do this? By cultivating awareness. There are a good variety of ways of doing this. One would be meditation. Another might be simply paying attention to the ebb and flow of things, rather than lurching into action or reaction head-long.
By being aware of the "give and take" of any situation, all circumstances can be "parlayed into an opportunity." A keen strategist is able to adapt to any situation, turning its particularity into an advantage.
Want to know more about Tsun Tzu?
A (unfortunately) Chinese animated version of one chapter of this classic. If anyone has the English subtitled version, I'd be really happy!
Rob, blogger and former 475lbs dude, runs a site dedicated to weight loss, exercise tips and motivation. Having dropped 300lbs, Rob has now created a resource to help others overcome similar obstacles and reach success in their lives.
According to Rob, one of the main ways we sabotage ourselves in by creating fear, and then contributing to the cycle of maintaining that fear. Whatever the journey, says Rob, the next phase is never more intimidating than one more step.
In his podcast of the week, Rob tells us about one of his strategies for overcoming fear. "Taking action", he says, is the most important. It doesn't really matter if that action is perfect. Once you've started the ball and are taking steps towards what you want, it's easier at that point to make corrections once you're in motion.
But then, Rob says is best. Check out the podcast on his blog: (you have to actually scroll down the page to get the podcast. I haven't figured out how to embed the thing directly!!)
Today's feature is on current World Champion at 57kgs, Dutch fighter Krista Fleming. Professional fighter for four years, Krista explains that she took up kickboxing at twenty-five. She now owns a gym in Arnhem, the town where she lives. In an interview a few weeks ago, she had some inspiring things to say about life, kickboxing and courage and committment.
The road has not always been easy for Krista. When she started fighting, her family and friends were not always supportive of her decision to become a professional kick-boxer. Then, pro kick-boxers, especially female ones, most often can't live off their winnings.
The Dutch champ was no exception. Funding her career as a kick-boxer was a struggle for a while. Although she finished her studies, Krista says: “I already knew this wasn’t going to be my job. But [the problem is] everyone expects you will have a good job, and a house and money and a nice boyfriend, and blah-d-y-blah-d-y-blah, and kids, but that was not the thing I wanted to do.” So Krista went her own way, breaking with the conventions that her environment seemed to expect of her and becoming a champion Muay Thai fighter.
Attitude to Change In overcoming the obstacles she has faced, Krista explains her attitude to change: “You can always in any time of your life change your pattern.” She believes you can feel when something is right for you. “But [change] takes a lot of energy,” she cautions. “If you change something the first few months people are turning their backs. But it’s not because they don’t like your change. It’s because they see that you can do it and they can’t.”
Of course there are still things she struggles with. Even though she only started boxing at twenty-five, Krista—now at thirty-one—has become Dutch champion, European champion and World champion. “And of course,” says the Dutch fighter. “Every day I think I am too old, and there, so blah-d-blah. But no one believes [my story] but it is. It is because I so badly wanted it.”
On Courage & Commitment Krista: It’s also about courage, about moving on, and it’s about not stepping back. [In fighting] if you have this commitment with your opponent and with your trainer and with yourself, you make a decision to fight. There is no way back. I mean for me. I know a lot of girls who decide to fight and then the day comes and they get all tentative, making excuses. But for me a commitment will stay a commitment even if I am ill or I have an injury. That is the way of martial arts. You commit yourself. And if you take that way of thinking into your own life, it makes everything else easier.
Terrie: If you apply that mindset in the rest of your life?
Krista: [My decision to box] lost [me] a lot of friends. I lost a lot because of my commitment. But it's ok. And if you make a commitment, that’s just how I am, then you have to do it. You have to take this way of thinking and handling into everything you do... And every day you have to remember why you made this choice and stand with it. That’s the way you have to live with it. And it doesn’t matter what kind of job or passion or what kind of life, if you make a decision or a commitment, just do it. And don’t hurt other people or don’t be respectless or have no anger against other people.
On Living Well Krista: I am really lucky that I have the chance to live this life. So I take every opportunity to enjoy it the way I like. So anything I can do, to make my life better or nicer or warmer, I try. I am also a very big animal lover and I do a lot of donations for animal help things and, well, if I can do more for them or for kids with problems back home, then I am more satisfied. I am there for people with problems and it makes my life worthwhile, but I also think that if you are here, on this planet, you take and you give. You take the things you like, but it's very short.
Terrie: We only have one chance?
Krista: Yeah, but sort of, you’re here, I’m not sure, for a reason... I mean just try to do it now. Don’t think, just act and handle, feel what you like. Be respectful. A lot of people I know just [act] because their parents want them to, but they’re not happy. And I did the same, but a long time ago. [Now] I am living for myself and not for my parents. And everyone makes [their] own choices, and if that makes your life easier or nicer then you take that. There will be a moment, that everyone who is around you accepts your choice. But the only way to reach that moment is just to do it, with a good feeling. And that’s my thinking.
People at the top of every profession share one quality — they get things done. This ability supercedes intelligence, talent, and connections in determining the size of your salary and the speed of your advancement. Despite the simplicity of this concept there is a perpetual shortage of people who excel at getting results. The action habit — the habit of putting ideas into action now — is essential to getting things done. Here are 7 ways you can grow the action habit:1. Don’t wait until conditions are perfect - If you’re waiting to start until conditions are perfect, you probably never will. There will always be something that isn’t quite right. Either the timing is off, the market is down, or there’s too much competition. In the real world there is no perfect time to start. You have to take action and deal with problems as they arise. The best time to start was last year. The second best time is right now. 2. Be a doer - Practice doing things rather than thinking about them. Do you want to start exercising? Do you have a great idea to pitch your boss? Do it today. The longer an idea sits in your head without being acted on, the weaker it becomes. After a few days the details gets hazy. After a week it’s forgotten completely. By becoming a doer you’ll get more done and stimulate new ideas in the process.3. Remember that ideas alone don’t bring success - Ideas are important, but they’re only valuable after they’ve been implemented. One average idea that’s been put into action is more valuable than a dozen brilliant ideas that you’re saving for “some other day” or the “right opportunity”. If you have an idea the you really believe in, do something about it. Unless you take action it will never go anywhere.4. Use action to cure fear - Have you ever noticed that the most difficult part of public speaking is waiting for your turn to speak? Even professional speakers and actors experience pre-performance anxiety. Once they get started the fear disappears. Action is the best cure for fear. The most difficult time to take action is the very first time. After the ball is rolling, you’ll build confidence and things will keep getting easier. Kill fear by taking action and build on that confidence. 5. Start your creative engine mechanically - One of the biggest misconceptions about creative work is that it can only be done when inspiration strikes. If you wait for inspiration to slap you in the face, your work sessions will be few and far between. Instead of waiting, start your creative motor mechanically. If you need to write something, force yourself to sit down and write. Put pen to paper. Brainstorm. Doodle. By moving your hands you’ll stimulate the flow of ideas and inspire yourself.6. Live in the present - Focus on what you can do in the present moment. Don’t worry about what you should have done last week or what you might be able to do tomorrow. The only time you can affect is the present. If you speculate too much about the past or the future you won’t get anything done. Tomorrow or next week frequently turns into never. 7. Get down to business immediately - It’s common practice for people to socialize and make small talk at the beginning of meetings. The same is true for individual workers. How often do you check email or RSS feeds before doing any real work? These distractions will cost you serious time if you don’t bypass them and get down to business immediately. By becoming someone who gets to the point you’ll be more productive and people will look to you as a leader. It takes courage to take action without instructions from the person in charge. Perhaps that’s why initiative is a rare quality that’s coveted by managers and executives everywhere. Seize the initiative. When you have a good idea, start implementing it without being told. Once people see you’re serious about getting things done they’ll want to join in. The people at the top don’t have anyone telling them what to do. If you want to join them, you should get used to acting independently.
Germaine de Randamie's promo video
Check out this video... One of the world's best fighters from the Netherlands. I wouldn't want to meet her in a backalley somewhere!!! Enjoy...
I was researching fear this week, and in talking about some strategies for overcoming fear, I came upon the story of Julius Caesar’s ascent to ruler of Rome. His path to leadership was marked by a decisive moment—the general’s decision to cross the Rubicon. A small river, the Rubicon separated the Roman province of Gaul (modern-day France) from Rome (modern-day Italy). Roman generals were required by law to leave their arms and soldiers behind before crossing this river, manifesting a sign of goodwill and non-aggression. In his march toward Rome, Caesar paused at the banks of the Rubicon. Crossing the small bridge with his men would constitute violation of Roman law and so treason, and by extension a decisive act after which point retreat was no longer possible.
According to historical accounts, Caesar walked across the bridge himself first, calling his soldiers as he did so: “Advance! Let us go where the omens of the Gods and the crimes of our enemies summon us! The die is now cast!” And with this, he set in motion the train of events that would lead him to be (for a short time) leader of Rome.
Life’s big decisions have a similar quality. Options can be evaluated, comparisons made, effects projected, but when there eventually comes a moment when the die must be cast. A “go or no go” moment presents itself. After this point, when retreat is impossible, success becomes the only option. This is the set of circumstances Caesar provoked. It is also a strangely productive state of affairs. Beyond the point of no return, your mind no longer uses its energy looking for escape roots—all resources are focused on surmounting the obstacle at hand. And in the face of a big, cross-the-Rubicon decision, this is a good place to be in—on the battlefield with no way out.
This has repercussions for plan-B. While planning a back-up option is useful, especially in the decision-making process, investing in or preserving reminders or backdoor options can have the effect of making retreat too simple. Plan-B should be just that—Plan-B, once Plan-A has definitively not worked out. A contingency plan should not become an easy out that prevents you from really throwing yourself into the desired outcome.
I was lucky enough to get an interview with Julie Kitchen this week. It was later in the day British-time, and I caught the champ running up the stairs to her new and extended gym (Touchgloves in Cornwall). Number-one ranked British fighter and Mum of two 8-year-old twin girls, Julie had a few things to say. She named determination and preparation as secrets to her success.
A very shy and reserved person, the current K1-world-champion has noted and cultivated her determined spirit through fighting and training. The best way to face down a challenge, according to Julie, is preparing to the very best of your ability. In her case, this means putting maximum effort at the gym and mentally, at home, because—in the fight game—you can assume your opponent is always training. It becomes much easier to banish negative thoughts if you know you’ve done everything in your power to prepare for an up-coming challenge.
More strong-willed and ready to speak up, this once-shy fighter identifies the secret ingredient to her success as—importantly—knowing you can achieve great things if you really put your mind to it. With this certainty in your pocket—and it is a certainty—determination and perseverance are the routes that will take you there.
