Description:
Official blog of Rebecca Benston, author of the Rona Shively Stories mystery series.
Contents:
What, no comment?
I've been on a bit of a hiatus, but figured that now was as good a time as any to post something. Over the past month or so, I've been trying to make some changes in my life. I've been trying to reconnect with God after an extended period of estrangement. It's been long overdue and I'm glad that I've finally taken some steps in the right direction. What does this mean to you? Well, probably not nearly what it means to me, but I wanted to take a moment to fill you in anyway.
Part of this journey involves curbing my natural bent toward profanity and being such a hater. Granted, this has been challenging. I've always had a way with words, especially the bad ones. And, I am sometimes quick to say something not so nice about someone whom I feel has issues. Whether I've been right or wrong in some of the things I've said, I feel that I probably could have said alot of it much more lovingly. Don't worry, though. I am not losing my edge. I'm just dulling it a little so that it won't cut quite so deep.
In a bizarre coincidence, just as I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler Rebecca Benston, I get a notification in my inbox this morning from Associate Content. A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about my former publisher, PublishAmerica. I was tired of hearing comments from people who wanted to bash the publisher and any writer who had found themselves under contract with them. I've received a few good comments over the years and today, I got one that really tested my ability to act in a Godly manner. Here is the comment:
Wow. Publish America a legit publisher? that's perhaps the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Publish America is a Vanity publisher that will put into print, any incoherent nonsense that happens to be written. it is for hacks who have some inflated self worth and believe that commercial publishers, who have rejected them, have done so unjustly. if you get published by PA, you aren't even a writer. you're just someone with a computer who managed to string a few sentences together. I could have a monkey tap dance across my keyboard for 2 hours and come up with something PA would publish. if you are so untalented that you have to use PA to publish, I'm embarrassed for you. Do your homework.
lisa miller
My poor tongue has permanent indentations from the biting it endured after reading this one. I was especially bothered by this woman's refusal to use a capital letter. Fortunately, though, my fingers were able to respond by sending her a nice response which I'll share with you here:
Ms. Miller, I'm not going to go into great detail to explain my position on this. I'll just say that PA was a great starting point for me and that it is not a vanity press. I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack writers who choose PA, perhaps you had a bad experience with them or maybe they actually rejected something you sent them. Whatever the case, I wish you well and hope that you can get a handle on whatever it is that has caused you to be so bitter. By the way, what do you write? I'm interested in checking out your work so that I can see how a real writer does it.
Note, I used no profanity and I think I was fairly tactful. Considering what I really wanted to say, this was actually quite remarkable. In any case, it never ceases to amaze me how some people can spend so much time in bitterness that they would actually take the time to spew such hatred at someone they have never met or had any kind of interaction with. I don't know this person. Or at least, the name doesn't ring a bell. I thought to myself, "Did I cut this woman off in traffic? Did I maybe date her husband in high school or something?" For all I know it's the Navin Johnson curse. She probably just picked my name out of the phone book or something and decided to attack.
The point is, a few months ago my response may have included a couple of choice words and I would have been angry. Today, I feel like I've said what I needed to say and now, I can go to church.
Happy Sunday, all!
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Changes, Updates, and Alterations...
I'm working on some changes to the blog and hopefully, will have them finished by the end of October. I've been trying to figure out what direction I would like to take with my Rona Shively series and after lots of careful consideration, have come up with something I think will be great! If you haven't had a chance to get Keeping the Faith yet, by all means get over to my website and order your copy today. I have also completed the fourth book in the Rona Shively series and it is due out in February of 2010! I'll be posting more information about this book in a few weeks.
Stay tuned to Benston Blogs for more information about the newest books in the series as well as my other projects. And remember, Tea & Mystery is not just for libraries and book clubs, it's also a great way to spend a few hours with your mystery-loving friends. I'll be posting some new information about Tea & Mystery on my website later today, so be sure to check it out. If you'd like to book a Tea & Mystery event, please e-mail me here.
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Cold Pizza and Coffee...
Sometimes, things just don't go together. Or maybe we just think they shouldn't because that's what someone else told us. Say for instance, a writing career and some other full-time endeavor such as being a mother or a wife. Now, don't get all huffy. Give me a moment to explain. It's often difficult to see where one role should end and the other should begin. And sometimes it's impossible to see them ever working together in perfect harmony. If we aren't careful, the two roles may find themselves at odds with one another and one or both may suffer. Unless, of course, we find ways to bring the two roles together into something that not only makes sense, but makes you feel like you've accomplished what you originally set out to achieve.
Years ago, I would never have imagined that I would be writing mysteries while also working at a "day job" and being a wife and mother. If you had asked me six years ago where I pictured myself in the year 2010, I would have said that I'd be working in some non-profit agency, fighting unfair changes in policy and being nearly completely miserable with my life while watching my life pass unsatisfyingly in front of my eyes. And you would have said, "Is unsatisfyingly even a word?" Yes, it's in my dictionary. The one I intend to publish later, but that's another story.
In any case, I would never have thought that I would be an elementary school librarian, a mystery writer and the mother of a five and a half year old daughter. These three things actually do go together in lots of ways, however; sometimes when I'm in the midst of it all, I can't see the connections very clearly. When I'm trying to think of all of the things I need to have finished for my students each day as well as the homework I'll be helping Mya with and the corrections I need to make to my manuscript, it all appears very incompatible. How in the hell can I ever get all of these things to work together?
This morning as I was looking around the kitchen, the answer to this question came to me as I filled my coffee cup and then remembered that there was some cold pizza in the refrigerator that I really wanted to eat for breakfast. Of course, many people wouldn't approve of my choice and some wouldn't think it made sense at all. But for me, it was what I wanted. It was what sounded like a great idea to me and it certainly wasn't going to hurt anyone. So what if I'm mixing breakfast with dinner? Who gives a big shit? Unorthodox? Well, sure. But I'm not hungry anymore and I'm wide awake. So, I achieved this morning's goal.
You're probably thinking, "That still doesn't make much sense." Well, okay. My point is this; what may not seem to make sense to others may be exactly what you need in your life. You are the only one who can make that call and you shouldn't worry about what others might think of your choices. Ultimately, you're the one who will suffer the heartburn and so if it doesn't work out well for you, you take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes our goals don't fit into what others may see as where we should be spending our time or expending our energies. To that, I say, "Too bad for them." If I want pizza with my coffee, that's my business. Let them eat eggs.
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Tea & Mystery
I'm getting ready to leave for Michigan in a few hours to present a Tea & Mystery program at the Allen Park Public Library. As the summer months come to an end, I am extending a special offer to any library, bookstore or book club who invites me to do a Tea & Mystery program. Schedule your event before August 15th and I will donate a copy of my newest book, Keeping the Faith: The Rona Shively Stories to your collection. In addition, I'll take $25 off the total cost of the event! And for all libraries who schedule an event by August 31st, I'll enter you into a drawing where one lucky winner will receive a copy of the entire Rona Shively series!
So, if you're looking for a great program for your patrons or if your book club is looking to do something a little different during its monthly meeting, throw in a little Tea & Mystery! We'll discuss the mystery genre as it pertains to books, movies and television series. You'll have a chance to share your favorites as well as take a stab at guessing whodunit when I read a selection from my book of short mysteries, A Little Bit of Murder. E-mail me today to schedule your event. Visit my website for more information about Tea & Mystery.
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De-Cluttering Project: Day 45 I think....Where the hell am I?
You would think it would get easier after thirty or forty days. But, unfortunately, that's just not the case. I began this project thinking that I would reach the end of my summer break with the most organized house in America...or at least in Springfield. Instead, I have a house that looks much like the one I started with at the beginning of the summer. Only now I have a big stack of books about de-cluttering sitting on my shelf, taking up space instead of offering advice on how to tame this monster.
It's not all negative, though. In the process of reading up on de-cluttering techniques and tips for organizing your home, I found that clutter is not necessarily my main problem. It has much more to do with a lack of space and money than my lack of organization. For example, I've mentioned before that I'm working with only about 800 square feet of space. Not nearly enough to house three people, three Yorkies and a suitable office area.
Another problem is that in order to do all of the nifty little organizational things that would help me make better use of this space, I'd have to spend hundreds of dollars on shelving units, storage bins, and other gadgets that help hide everyday clutter from view. In Good Housekeeping's Clutter Rescue, most of the tips involve spending money. Not that this is a terrible thing, but one hopes that straightening up their living area wouldn't necessarily require out-of-pocket expense. Especially when one is extremely cheap.
I've also been reading a book called, When Organizing Isn't Enough: S.H.E.D. Your Stuff, Change Your Life, by Julie Morgenstern. It's a pretty good book that deals mainly with understanding when something isn't working for you. For instance, one of my favorite quotes from this book is this one by William Morris, "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." You'd be surprised at what this particular principle can cover. I have a tendency to hold onto things, long after they've proven useful or even beautiful. That's why it takes me so long to throw out broken knick-knacks. If someone gave me something, chances are I still have it somewhere. That begins to be quite cumbersome after thirty years or so.
The best part of this book so far has been in Chapter 3 where Morgenstern sites the Zen parable about a wanderer who comes upon a washed out bridge and spends several days making a raft. He could not swim and was afraid to try and wade across. He made a strong raft that carried him safely across the stream and was reluctant to leave it behind once he made it across. He said to himself, "This is a good raft--if there's another stream ahead, I can use it." He ends up carrying the raft for the rest of his life. The point being that although the raft had been useful for one particular task, it wasn't necessary for the man to carry it around for the rest of his life. He didn't need it and would have been better served by tackling each future issue as it happened instead of carrying the baggage and with that, some inkling of dread that comes with always anticipating a problem.
Too often, we forget that just because something worked for us in the past, that doesn't mean that the same solution will always fit the problems in our future. We grow and change and become different people and so will need to adjust the way we deal with our problems to fit the person we become. Carrying around trophies of our past struggles is not as uplifting as we would like to believe, and in fact, can become a symbol of wariness which will hold us back and prevent us from going ahead unencumbered in our future endeavors. If I've learned nothing else from this project, I've come to the realization that getting rid of the clutter will somehow free me to do more good in my life without always running back to my arsenal of crutches for support.
Stay tuned, I'm almost finished with this mess. Just sixteen more days until I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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De-cluttering Project-Day 27 and no end in sight...
I'm beginning to think maybe I like clutter. I have come to this conclusion because I managed to find ways to stay gone all week and haven't done one bit of de-cluttering. I don't think I've organized a single thing...including a thought for the entire week. Of course, I have plans to organize things. I always have lots of plans. But my ability to put those plans into action has me feeling a little less than effective these days.
The whole de-cluttering thing is starting to feel like mowing the lawn. You take the time to go out and push the mower around and when you're done, you can see the results right away. The problem is that in a day or so, you look outside and the grass is there again. In much the same way that the grass grows back and waves at you, begging you to come out and mow again, the stacks of mail, magazines, and toys seem to find their way back into the places where you were just weeding through them. So it becomes a battle of wills. Who will cave first? Will you organize to avoid a catastrophe or will you let the piles climb as high as they can before they simply collapse into a much bigger mess on the floor in front of you? In either case, you lose.
I was reading one of my de-cluttering books the other day while I was waiting at the doctor's office. I was almost inspired to do a few of the things in the book until I realized that much of what was being done was simply moving your piles of crap to other areas of the house and calling them something different. My magazines would become my idea files and my bookshelf would become my reference library. Could I possibly fake being stupid long enough to convince myself that renaming these things had made a significant difference in my clutter?
As it stands, I have almost thirty days left to get in all of the de-cluttering that I wanted to do this summer. My last day on this project will be August 15th. Barring any unforeseen calamities, I should be able to at least manage to hold a yard sale before that day arrives. If I can't manage to do that, I shall have to declare this project a failure. I'm not going to make myself feel bad if I do fail. There's something to be said for making the effort. As a matter of fact, I could just rename my clutter and call it something like "assets" or "valuables." I'd be stretching the truth, but at least it wouldn't be "clutter" anymore. I'll worry about that on August 15th. Whatever will be will be...
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