Description:
Official blog by Rebecca Benston, author of the Rona Shively Stories mystery series.
Contents:
The only time I get sentimental...
There's something about the holidays that brings out my sentimental side. Most people wouldn't believe that I listen to Christmas music in my car, that I always try to put up my Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving, that I like to watch the same sappy Christmast movies over and over throughout November and December or that I look forward to seeing all of the lights and decorations go up each year. I just don't seem to be that way in real life. The truth is, Christmas has been the most consistent thing in my life over all these years and for this, I have set aside a special place in my heart for all things Christmas.
The earliest memories of Christmas I have are of my father being on the road working and my mother and I spending most of the season alone. There were always lots of presents back then because I was an only child for six years. One year, I remember getting a guitar which I promptly broke. How did I know that tightening up the strings would cause such a catastrophe? I was only about five years old and I really had no idea how to approach the instrument. Needless to say, I never learned how to play.
Just a few years later, when there were a couple of sisters added to the mix, Christmas was always time to visit relatives and eat pies and candies that were brought in by relatives we only saw a few times a year. It was the time when everyone enjoyed being together and things didn't seem quite so complicated.
There were some Christmases when things weren't so great, but I always remember feeling good about this time of year because people made an effort to be together. Whether that came from guilt or holiday spirit didn't matter, the point was that we were together. Now, years later, as everyone has either divorced, moved away or both, it's harder to get together. Members of the family have gotten older, some have strayed from reality, some have just disappeared altogether, some are sick, some have passed away. Though this time of year could be a time of sadness, I can still find contentment in hearing the same old songs each year, watching the same old movies, and looking at the same old lights.
I'm not sure this makes sense to anyone but me, however, I think my point is this: Though families may change or go through difficult times, the fact remains that every year we have the opportunity to make things right again. Actually, every day we have this opportunity but most people don't think of it until the holidays roll around. That's okay. Every little bit helps. Even if there are those whom we can't change, we can still enjoy what the season is about and appreciate that it means something to most everyone.
So, as I sit here in the dark (except for the lights on my Christmas tree), writing this, I hope you can think back on your Christmas experiences and find reasons why this is a great time for just enjoying life and being hopeful. Good things can still happen and most likely will. And if you can't believe that, just turn on your radio and find that station that plays all Christmas music all the time. If that doesn't make you smile, then you're not trying hard enough.
Until next time...
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Attention: Middle Aged Babes...
Just in time for the holidays, I've found another great book for women. How To Be a Middle-Aged Babe by Marilyn Suzanne Miller is a wonderful collection of information for those of us who want to age gracefully. This guidebook to maintaining your babe status well into your middle-aged years is a must have for women with a sense of humor and perhaps a nice hint to those with none.
I wasn't sure about this one because ordinarily I hate the word "babe"; however, the information on the front cover drew me in and I just had to take a look. Not that I worry about such things, but this book had great tips for coping with or at least developing a better understanding of just about every aspect of a middle-aged woman's life. Questions like, "How can I be both hot and old at the same time?" or "How can I tell if I'm married or single?" had me laughing my ass off. Figuratively, of course. But wouldn't it be nice if...never mind. In any case, this book would make a great gift between sisters, mothers and daughters, best friends, etc. The book has been praised by such celebrities as Penny Marshall, Julie Kavner and Laraine Newman.
With hilarious tips about beauty and how to handle your finances, this book has something for every woman. If you are looking for a fun read, pick this one up today.
Until next time...have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
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Truer Words Were Never Spoken
I recently came across a quote about time. It reads, "The myth that we must have "time"-more time in order to create is a myth that keeps us from using the time we do have."
I'm not sure who wrote this, but these words are definitely speaking to me these days. I've been in kind of a funk since I finished writing the third book in my mystery series. There have been a few days when I was inspired to write, but for the most part, I've been struggling with a bit of a block. This sucks because for one, I don't believe in writer's block. I believe that I am simply being stubborn and not allowing myself to do the one thing that I truly enjoy out of some kind of self-directed spite. It makes no sense that I would deprive myself in this way, but hey, that's the kind of gal I am.
In all of this, I have been claiming that time is the main reason why I haven't been sitting down to write. I say that I'm too busy or too tired because all of my time is spent working or thinking about work. This is most definitely a cop-out. In reality, I have never stopped having ideas for things I want to write, hence, I cannot cry "Writer's Block!" It simply isn't accurate. And the problem isn't a lack of time. I spend lots of time sitting at home, looking at my computer but doing little to nothing productive. So, in the spirit of having some spirit, I decided that I would take at least one day out of the week and go to my local library to write for a couple of hours. It sounded strange to my husband at first, I'm sure, but he hasn't complained yet so I'll keep at it.
Though it isn't like me to take time for myself in such a grandiose manner, I must admit, I kind of like having a few hours where I can concentrate on writing or finding good information about marketing without having to get up and check on my daughter or hear my husband's television shows in the background. This seems to be just what the doctor ordered. In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm at the library right now. And...I'm writing. Go figure. It wasn't writer's block at all. It was me-time deficiency. Lots of women suffer from this.
So, the next time you find that you're feeling a little less than motivated, think about finding a way to break free from your routine and give yourself some time alone. A change of venue, as it were. It might be just what you need to get your mojo back.
Until next time...
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Keeping the Faith...
It's that time of year when I start looking at my writing goals and try to determine what to tackle next. So far, I think I've stayed on task as much as humanly possible given the year I've had. In spite of injuries and other issues, I managed to finish Keeping the Faith and begin working on a couple of new projects. This year hasn't been easy, but it has been full of wonderful new experiences and I'd like to take a moment to mention a few of these.
Although this publisher did not survive the year, I was glad to have been included in the From the Shadows Horror Anthology. I met some really nice people and was able to have my short horror story, Eleven published alongside some very talented horror writers.
I had the good fortune of being included in another anthology this year with the winning entries for the Writer's Digest Short Shorts. My short story, The End placed (although not in the top ten)and was included as one of the top twenty five entries in the contest. I was very happy to be recognized by this publication.
Another wonderful thing that has happened this year has been my Tea & Mystery Tour. I've been to several libraries in Ohio and one in New York state. These discussions have been a great way to get out and meet mystery readers and talk about the two of the things I most enjoy, reading and writing. I look forward to doing more of these discussion next year.
The most rewarding thing that has happened this year in terms of writing has been that I finally finished my first novel-length Rona Shively story. Anyone who knows me, knows that this was especially difficult for me since I have a tendency toward brevity. It's not that I don't have alot to say, it's just that I generally say it very efficiently. So, writing nearly three hundred pages was challenging to say the least. I still haven't figured out what this means to me as a writer, but it wasn't scary enough to stop me from starting my fourth Rona Shively Story shortly after finishing KTF. I'm just anxious to see where this one takes me.
In short, I have lots to be thankful for this year. As usual, things are pretty much as good as can be expected. This is my favorite time of year and I'm hoping that the next couple of months will bring more good news and lots to do for the coming year. Hopefully, the next time I blog, I'll have some news about the status of Keeping the Faith.
Until next time...
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The Difference Between Ignorance and Stupidity...
I might as well write this now. I've thought about it before, but now I know the difference. What I am referring to is that line between being ignorant and just being stupid. This is what I came up with:
Being ignorant means, by definition, that you lack knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified. Being stupid, on the other hand, means that one is given to unintelligent decisions or acts. In one instance, you simply aren't armed with knowledge and therefore cannot be reasonably expected to do the correct thing in a given situation. In the other, well, you just don't have the ability to arm yourself with the knowledge necessary to do the correct thing. No matter what happens, you're not going to be able to figure it out.
I met a shining example of the latter today. I'm at my desk on the telephone trying to listen to someone's voicemail greeting so that I can leave a message for them. This lady, whom I've never met before, comes into my area and starts asking me questions about a print job. I am completely ignorant in this instance. Note, I had no knowledge of what she wanted, who she was, or why she was asking me questions. Ignorant.
Upon seeing that I was on the phone, most people would turn and wait until I hung up the receiver and asked what they needed. Most people would do that. But not this lady. This lady, instead keeps talking even as I glare at her to shut the #@$& up so that I can hear my phone call. Obtuse. Stupid.
When I finally hung up the phone, she was still hanging around the area. She had moved into another corner of the room and appeared to be searching for something. I asked her what she needed and she launched into some sort of speech, though I'm not sure it had the energy of an actual speech, it was more like absent-minded babbling. I still had no idea what she needed, who she was or why she had come to me. Ignorant.
She left, but then a few moments later, returned. This time, I had my purse, my briefcase and my keys in hand and I was ready to leave the building. Upon seeing this, the lady proceeded to ask more questions. I told her that I didn't think I could help her with her problem and that I wasn't necessarily sure who could. Perhaps she should ask someone else. Most people would say, yeah, I'll try someone else. Not this lady. She continued asking me questions although I had made it quite clear that I was not the person who held the key to her dilemma. Stupid.
Hmmmm. I'm not sure how to recover from such an encounter. It almost had me doubting my own capacity, but alas, I feel much better now that I have shared the moment with you. Alas, you are ignorant no more. ;)
Until next time...
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Perceptions...Confusion...Exhaustion...
On this, the eve of Election Day, I find myself wondering why so many people are still optimistic about the prospect of a Republican president. I mean, what more can they be permitted to do to the working people of America? At the rate we've been going, under a new Republican leader, we'd all be lucky to be able to afford bread, milk and toilet paper each week. What person in their right mind looks at the options and says, "Ok, I'll take four more years of this. After all, I don't mind putting money into a retirement fund that is sure to lose money. I don't mind paying through the nose for everything I need to survive and I don't really need to be able to save any money for the next four to eight years."
 I have had my doubts about electing Senator Obama to be our next president, but I have to tell you, it scares me more to think that McCain or Palin could ever be in a position of power.
It especially scares me to think about what could happen if Palin ever found herself in the big chair. She doesn't appear to be wrapped too tightly.   Though I don't know her personally, her position on things like abortion and teen pregnancy (as evidenced by her own daughter's situation) doesn't impress me. I'm a feminist and although I like the idea of a woman achieving success, I have to say (and it pains me to do so) that some women simply shouldn't have that much power. I hope that my fellow feminists understand me when I say that there are women out there whose agendas have not been set to further the status of women as a group, but to further nothing but their own selfish whims.
 I didn't see this in Hillary Clinton and I'm still disgusted that she wasn't picked as our Democratic nominee. I won't beat that horse now, though.
I will, however, keep plugging away at this notion. We all need to get out there and vote tomorrow. If you do nothing else productive with your time, please make sure that you go out and vote. It doesn't take long and your input means everything. We have the power to make some very positive changes, no matter who we choose as our candidate. Although I would encourage everyone to vote Democrat on all counts, I know that we don't all see the benefit in doing so. Perhaps you haven't fallen upon hard enough times. Maybe, you've always voted Republican and you don't easily accept change. Maybe the economy isn't bothering you at all or maybe you're still harboring some ignorant prejudices about our Democratic candidate that you simply can't shake. Please don't take offense, but we need to be rational about the state of our nation today. We're in bad shape and the wrong choice (Republican) will only make things worse and worse over the next several years. They'll keep chipping away at us until the middle class no longer exists. I don't know about you, but I work too damned hard to let greedy politicians take it all away from me and my family.
I'm on pins and needles for now, waiting to see what the future will bring. I am hopeful that our decisions will be the right ones and that whomever we choose, they will lead us away from the chaos that we've fallen into. Though I've not completely decided to vote for Obama, I have decided not to vote for McCain. I do plan to vote for every Democratic candidate for the House and Senate, however, I'm still struggling with some of the negatives I have heard about Obama. When it all comes down to it, though, Obama definitely seems to be the lesser of two evils. Even if it is simply on the basis of the example that has been set by Republicans these past eight years. I have to admit, I've been wondering alot lately, how bad could he be?
I guess it will all come out in the wash and sometime tomorrow evening, we will have a much clearer picture of what our futures hold. Perhaps the one thing we can all be happiest about is that these damned political activists will stop calling us at all hours asking who we are voting for. I know at least that will make me happy.
Until next time...
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Stop being so angry…
My new job has given me lots to think about these past few weeks. In short, some people I've met have given me reason to spout off a little. I won't say exactly why, but after reading this, you'll probably understand:
If you have a child, if you watch a child, if you are around children at all on a regular basis, you need to hear this. I firmly believe that kids take every word we say and store it in their little memory banks until they can find a context where those phrases make sense. The ones they hear most often are the ones that start to mold their very existence and dictate the direction of their lives. So, that being said, I think that especially in cases where your main audience is a child or several children, if you don’t have anything good to say, then don’t say anything at all.
I’m not saying that discipline should not be applied when necessary. I’m saying that every interaction you have with a child should not be your opportunity to vent about the things in your life that make you unhappy. If you don’t like your job, that’s not a child’s fault. It’s yours. If you don’t like your spouse, that’s not your child’s fault. It’s yours. If your life isn’t working out according to plan or due to lack of plan, that is not a child’s fault. It’s, well, you guessed it…it’s your own fault.
When a child hears the same angry or negative messages over and over, they begin to attach those messages to their own character. There can’t possibly be any other reason why someone would be so negative towards me, so I must be bad. This is how the child processes your anger. This is not fair. If you find yourself continuously unhappy, you need to make some changes in the way you process things. And especially in the way you treat those around you.
Okay, I'm done. Until next time...
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Rona Gets the Creeps...
I've posted a new Rona Shively Short over at my website just for you! Check it out today!
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Book Review: A great resource for writers...
 If you haven't read the book, The Right to Write by Julia Cameron, you need to make time to do so. This book is motivational, inspirational and one of the most well-written writing guides I've picked up in years. Cameron walks you through the various scenarios related to what might hold you back in your writing and then offers valuable exercises to help you work through your blocks. It's not all about what blocks you, it's also about what makes writing so wonderful and how everyone has a writer inside of them. I was worried that it might be one of those books where the author talks down to other writers by telling them how they should be writing instead of why. As I got into the book, I found that it was exactly the opposite. Cameron reminds you of why you want to write in the first place by providing some highly entertaining prose to illustrate the points she makes.
I checked this one out from my local library, but I'm going to buy it for my collection as soon as possible. This is one I definitely want to have around for those days when I'm less than confident about my writing. Yes, I have those days. Although I'm not really supposed to say it out loud. According to Cameron, it's okay to have those days as long as you don't let them stop you from writing. Writers need to pick this book up as soon as possible, especially if you've been having trouble getting started or you're stalled on your latest project. It will help.
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