I grew up in the Greater Philadelphia Region and lived here most of my life except for college in Pittsburgh, part of a year in DC and my year in China. I thought I was comfortable and familiar with my life here. Then I went off to China for a year, looked around shocked by all the differences and slowly got accustomed to them in my time in Wuhan.

A year has past and it seems now that the things I find strange aren’t the live turtles in Walmart or the celebrity status of a foreigner, but instead things I must have loved or just took as normal before. This post is the beginning of my series of posts related to things that I have seen in my time back in America that has freaked me out to the point of overwhelmity.

The first one is the cheese department of any major grocery store. The day after I came back, I went into a Genaurdi’s to find some shredded Mexican cheese, because I sort of remembered that existed. As I wandered to through the vast quantities of choices to the far reaches of the dairy section, I saw the cheese section. It would send any of my Chinese buddies into a cardiac arrest, especially since I don’t think they like cheese. But for me, someone who saw these items for 23 years to go away for less than 1 year and come back scared, I bet you cannot even believe it.

Can you think of a culture shock event in your life? Or even better, when you came home, what shocked you the most?

Xian zai, wo bu shi waiguoren. Wo guo hui jia. Wo hen gao xin yingwei wo hen wo mama he baba, dan shi wo ye hen xiang zhong guo. Shenme shihou wo hui qu zhong guo? Wo bu zhi dao. Wo yao hui zhong guo. Zai jian zhong guo.

Now, I’m not a foreigner. I went back home. I am very happy because I really missed my mom and dad, but I really miss China, too. When will I go back to China? I don’t know. I want to return to China. See you soon, China.

In today’s look at slang that I’ve never used and may not understand, I’ve found the wonderful phrase “straw in the wind”. Once again this book comes out on top with a dynamite explanation, but first I’d like to provide you with some possible other definitions. This could relate to the Kansas song, “Dust in the Wind” which explains that man and life are just dust in the wind. But that’s apparently not even close. After the jump, wonderful examples that make this phrase your new favorite phrase.

Examples:

Sammie: “Is the operation going smoothly?”

Sven: “Maybe not. The doctor’s worried face was a straw in the wind.”

This powerfully sad example shows the true meaning of the phrase. It means foreshadow and I think it is always a negative future. Another example it provides says, “When the company began to try and cut back on expenses it was a a straw in the wind as to what would happen in the future.”

Here’s my chance to out-example them:

As their star player fell to the ground holding his obviously broken ankle, it was a straw in the wind for their chances of winning the championship this year.

Have you ever had a difficult task to accomplish and you passed it along to someone else? Or perhaps, you had a plan to ruin the graduation ceremony at your college, but the plan hinged on someone mooning the whole audience and everyone was afraid to be that person. In this case, you can ask, “Who will bell the cat?”“Bell the cat” describes the difficult task that no one wants to undertake. It is comparable to “it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.” However, this phrase is a bit different in that its even more impossible, almost “mei men” even.

Example:

Ricky: “I agree that it is an admirable plan, but - who is going to bell the cat?”

Sven: “Nobody. It’s a mission impossible.”

My more impressive example:

Pedro: “We need to switch the fake statue with the real one without anyone noticing. But who can be that sneaky, who will bell the cat?”

NOW AS ALWAYS, IT’S YOUR TURN TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE.

Here in Wuhan, people work a lot. Definitely more than my 15 hours (maximum) a week. Everyday, from 12 to 2, my students go off to take naps, while the teachers also go off to take naps. In the beginning of my trip, I thought I could use this time to wisely set up my life. As you may remember from such banking pieces as this and this one, you can see that sometimes business is not running on full tilt.

This is part of the 12 to 2 phenomenon, which I assume is throughout China, even though I’ve only observed it in Wuhan. This phenomenon, or no-work-epidemic, deals with me going somewhere at perhaps 12:45, 1:14, or 1:37 and being told that it is closed. Upon further questioning, I am always told to return at 2, when business goes back on schedule. Examples include when I went banking during my broke phase. I tried to get virtual money exchanged (my money somehow was made into Japanese Yen, but not made into real money, just sitting as unusable currency) and I was told to wait. Upon questioning why at 1 they couldn’t help me, I was told there was 1 person able to do it and they were on their 12 to 2 nap. When we were trying to be legit in Wuhan, we’d have to wait until 2 to go to the many police stations we needed to become Wuhan temporary residents.

Chinese businesses stay open many hours, but next time a Chinese guy complains about how much he works drop the bomb. Tell him you know all about his daily 2 hour nap. I’m not complaining too much about it, I’m just jealous.

It is very funny when I think I have covered the English vernacular well, just to find that there’s even funnier ways of saying things. Have you ever been “all at sea”? It is today’s delicious english slang. It means being confused, I am glad this time the explanatory examples are good. It is comparable to “it’s all greek to me,” which is also in this book, but I thought a little too popular. Examples:

1. I’m all at sea with this computer manual.

2. Don’t ask me, I’m all at sea now.

And for my turn:

“How did we start walking in circles? I thought you knew where to go, Horatio. Oh, no, are you all lost at sea?”

English slang is often a mystery to Chinese people and the same goes for Chinese slang to me. I was told last night that the Chinese phrase for Philips light (like the lightbulb company), which I forget how to say, means coming between a couple, similar to a third wheel. Today, however, I have an interesting English slang to provide you with.

Being green can be defined as a “young, naive, or new,” I think. I’m sure some of my friends will tell me what this means later, but from reading the examples, I believe it means that. I think it comes from things being ripeningly (not a word) green or leaves being newly green.

Here are the examples:

1. I’m still green at my job.
2. You must be green to believe that!

This book’s examples continue to be a bit vague. Here is my own:

The country boy came into the big city and was scammed into giving his wallet to someone to hold. He is still a bit green.

Please give me your own example.

Apparently, the block on my blog has recently been lifted in China, although, maybe this is the firewall having a brief hiccup.

I haven’t written about a good Chinese idiom in a long while, not because I stopped learning, but instead, I have just not been learning idioms. I have been building my vocabulary to impress the Americans at home. Today, however, I am able to present you with a beautiful one.

You can say “Ni feng wo de ge se” when you have been promised something and it doesn’t happen. Examples include being stood up on a date, told you will get a job and then it goes to someone else, or if I told you I’d buy you copy Nikes and show up in America with no copies for you. Literally though, it means, “you have ordered my pigeon,” and I can’t explain why.

Chinese example:

Linda: “Ni zai ne? Ni men dao chezhan ma?”
“Where are you? Are you at the bus stop?”
Lee: “Wo men lai le. Wo zai jia. Deng yi xia.
“We are coming. We’re are the apartment. Wait a minute.”
Linda: “Ni men feng wo de ge se!”
“You fooled me!”

When China isn’t polluting or putting torches on buses, they like to get down and dirty on some athletic competitions. Ping Pong’s name likely comes from the Chinese name, ping pang qiu, which is ping pong ball in english. This continues the trend of sports having qiu in the name of sports (lanqiu is basket ball, etc). Here it is played like it is much more than the family sport I have come to see it as.

When I was a child, we had a ping pong table that we barely used, which may have saved my hand-eye coordination (see baseball, tennis, badminton failures). I grew up thinking that it was just a simple parlor game, but here in China, I couldn’t be any wronger. It is the real deal with kids practicing during their nap time with the P.E. teacher as their coach.

At my gym, they recently installed an impressive ping pong room that I briefly embarassed myself in before returning to the bench forever.

So if you’re interested in becoming a ping pong pro, let me know and I can get you a one on one lesson with a 2nd grader.

These pictures were borrowed. Thank you.