Contents:
Negotiation: Rehearse and Visualise
Visualization is the theater of your mind.
It is a powerful tool, but it needs to be backed up with practice, where you physically move and say things, preferably with someone else playing the role of your problem person, or in front of a mirror if this feels more comfortable at first.
Don’t be shy or embarrassed doing a role-play, think of it as a bit of fun, which can teach you a valuable lesson about success and failure in critical situations.
Body language or non-verbal communication is very important in determining whether a person’s communication style is sensitive, aggressive, passive or manipulative.
To communicate effectively, you need to ensure that your body language agrees with your words, rather than contradicting them.
Listen to the 4.34 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
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Assertion Techniques: 9 Verbal Skills – Part 2
This carries on from the last posting.
5. Force a Choice
• There comes a point in all negotiations and discussions when a resolution needs to be found. Some people just cannot make up their mind, and need a little nudge.
• This is sometimes called a Double Bind when you say to a person, would you prefer this or this, and that person now needs to make a choice.
• It is also becoming very popular to use Tripled Binds, so as to really ensure a decision is made.
• Would you like to meet at this time, or this time, or this time: giving three options.
Click on the link to hear the 4.29 minute AUDIO.
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Assertion Techniques: 9 Verbal Skills – Part 1
Performing well in an encounter is analogous to being an actor.
Everyone needs to plan and rehearse for an encounter which entails having prepared a script to avoid surprises.
This does not mean that you need to rote learn a series of lines, but generic words, behaviours (body language, attitudes, tone of voice), and so on are best rehearsed in advance.
Therefore, I hope that you have really internalized the 7-Step Feedback Sequence of the previous article and will link these with the 9 Verbal Skills.
We have already considered the possible communication styles of ourselves and others in a previous posting, so don’t forget to keep these in mind as well.
Click on the link to hear the 4.17 minute AUDIO.
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Assertion Skills: 7-Step Feedback Sequence
We have been doing quite a lot of work on Assertion Skills for quite a few postings.
This time, we will look at a very simple Seven-Step Feedback sequence to let another person know how you feel about a particular situation.
Remembering that assertion is simply saying it how you feel.
It has nothing to do with putting blame or responsibility for a situation on the other person.
Listen to the 3.44 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
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Your Personal Bill of Rights
Rights are an entitlement, not a privilege.
Equally, however, rights come with responsibilities.
This balance is very important, otherwise behaviour can slip into aggression.
Listen to the 3.52 minute AUDIO.
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Managing Stress for Self-Confidence
At the end of the last posting, “Assertiveness and Outside Influences”, I said that we’d be looking at, managing stress to build up your confidence allowing you to go out of your comfort zone more frequently.
There are seven basic steps to stress management for self-confidence building:
If you prefer, listen to the 4.42 minute AUDIO.
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Assertiveness and Outside Influences
At the end to a previous posting, “My Optimum Assertive Style”, I made reference to ‘outside influences’, which could affect your ability to be assertive.
By the way, how did you go with the exercise?
Did you think of a person you needed to be more assertive with?
Did you find a typical situation in which you might find yourself with that person?
And did you analyze the situation using the 5 X W-H checklist?
All the different skills, you can amass so that assertiveness becomes part of your every day behaviour, are worthwhile.
The exercise above will help you be better prepared when next dealing with a person within a similar situation.
Please listen to the 4.16 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
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Love and Self-esteem
This is the last posting on material from Paul Blackburn’s two-day seminar called Blockage Buster.
In Self-esteem: open the Floodgates”, self-esteem was obviously the main topic.
It still is in this posting and it’s joined with love.
Click here for the 6.00 miute AUDIO if you prefer.
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Self-esteem: open the Floodgates
Here is further material from Paul Blackburn’s , Blockage Buster seminar.
In the previous posting, we were talking about self esteem, and how that should be separated from achievement.
Continuing on with the topic of self esteem, we’ll look at some of the love substitutes that you may have looked for as a child.
Here us the 4.06 minute AUDIO fits in better with your time.
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Separate Self-Esteem from Achievement
This time I would like to share with you material Paul Blackburn dealt with on day two of Blockage Buster.
He said that there can never be absolutes in personal development.
Each person develops at their own personal pace.
Tools and strategies need to be generic and flexible, as each person will implement these in their own unique way according to their needs.
Listen to the 6.04 minute AUDIO here.
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