Bubbles
Kind of making
Good and bad
Both look better
Without changing
The meaning of either

But there is a
Very small garden
Of select words
That is kept
As hidden as
Someone's heart
Can hide them
Hearts are all
As different
As the words
Planted inside them
Deep roots running
From one
To another
Connecting
Intersecting


Then there's those
Just sprouting
Sprinkled seedlings
Words with new
Meanings
That may be
Soon forgotten
Or could bloom
Into beautiful
Forget-me-nots

Words with weight
All started out
As something that
Meant nothing
To anyone
Something has to happen
Of significance
To give these words
Magnificence

A dream
A death
A scream
Or breath
Without sound
Within words
It's easy to lose
A lot of different
Things


A memory
Could wander off
Inside a word
And be lost forever
Leaving the word
In its place
Etched deeper
Into the mind
It is scrawled across
Telling an entire story
All by itslef now


On our own scale
Different words
Weigh differently
You can cram
Enough power
In a word
To destroy
Or inspire
If you know
What you're doing
You can come
Pretty close
To controlling
Thoughts
Ideas
Beliefs
and even direct
the traffic
of hope and
happiness
in someone

Experience something
And replace it
With a one-word
Way to say it
When you want to
Revisit it
Just remember
The name you
Re call it all by


There is a pool
Too big to guess
Its size
Much too deep
To know
Where its bottom
If it has one
Lies
The substance
Is mystery
In liquid form
Our history
In Waves
On their ways
Into Whirling
Pools
That swirl
And elude the world
Endless
Unknown Sea
Of emptiness
A lot like the fear
Of an absent reflection
Staring back at you
From a mirror


That cauldron of chaos
Is everything
That can't be said
All the things
Which words cannot
Contain
Because there is much
That can only be
Felt
You can look
As long as you want
For words to explain
Or describe
What the invisible
Part of a soul
Somehow manages
To hide
Look high and low
But when you
Ask yourself
You will always know
If you can capture

It in words

Or not

Colder than you think

Even if being here

Seems to matter 

It doesn't matter

Who dies today

The world will

Go on without them

Tomorrow

The day after 

And forever

Time heals all things

And after that

It simply erases them

Hope is a heaven

To keep you out of hell

It can be hard work

Believing its there

We are lost when  

We lose it

It will happen 

either way

All men were 

Created inequally

It just doesn't 

Seem to matter

When you consider

How all men

Will end

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..."

That simply and perfectly puts into words a concept which I have fumbled around with when trying to describe or explain. I thought it was really f**king awesome when I heard it, and I still do.

Just from my own observations and experiences, it seems to me that almost all people's happiness is dependent on something or more than one things. It could be anything. For some it seems to be family, others work or school, social life and friends, maybe sex for some, sports or athletics, creative outlets, whatever. The list is literally endless and is made up of billions of different things which range from seeming pretty normal to totally bizarre and even horrifying. But everyone has their drug of choice, their posion, their vice, their hobby. I know what mine are, and there are a few of them. Some of them are good for me and others are not so good for me.

It seems to me like it is best to have more than one thing in your life which brings you happiness. The more the merrier (no pun intended). I think that ideally everyone should have several sources of pleasure and that each of them should be relatively close to being as important as the rest. That creates some balance. That way if one of those things goes away or takes a negative turn, you still have a small handful of other things to keep you going or whatever. You know what I mean?

Not everything that makes us happy can be as important to us as other things which we find pleasant. There is almost always one thing which ranks highest in importance, usually because of how happy it makes someone. Remember the old "if you were stranded on an island and you could only bring 5 things with you, what would you bring?" Well, five things is a lot actually. I think there are a fair amount of people that could be fairly happy on a deserted island if they were allowed to bring 5 things of their choice along with them. Seems pretty generous to me.

So the things that are important to us are prioritized. Maybe someone's family brings them the most happiness and is therefore the most important thing in their life, so what do you think happens if some unfortunate event takes place that ends up taking thier lives? You'd probably be ruined. If you have invested all of your heart in one thing, then when that thing disappears forever you are lost and devestated. The only way to keep this from happening is by being ready for anything to happen at any time, and that would mean finding personal strength from something or somewhere to keep you from falling apart when your world falls apart around you. Maybe it's God or religion. Maybe it's something that only has to do with you in your head that you know. Again, it could be anything.

I remember being truly content as I walked down the street by myself in the middle of the day, not sure where I was going and even less sure where I would be sleeping that night. I didn't have a dime in my pocket, and not a single idea in my head where to get one. It didn't matter that day. I wasn't worried about it at all. I'd figure it out. Had to get out of the place that I had been sleeping rather quickly and unexpectedly, so I had just started walking. That was one of many similar days that were each an adventure in somehow getting by. Figuring out ways to get done what I needed to do. Starting out each of them from scratch and never planing on how to end them. It was beautiful. I realized it didn't matter that I didn't have a place to live anymore, didn't have a car like I was used to having either, didn't have any money even for food, didn't really have any clothes that came close to fitting me, didn't really know the city I was walking around aimlessly. None of it mattered at all. It was a perfect temperature, walking felt exhilarating, I was eager to explore Portland, and I knew that I was going to be all right. I am in love with that moment. That whole long walk, actually. There are a few distinct memories of walks I took that were like this one. Each of them happened in the same era and takes me back to it for a moment or two of comfort and nostalgia. They are priceless. I hope to never forget them.

Even though I know there are a couple of things in my life which would greatly impact my happiness if they were lost, I do my best to keep in mind that I actually need almost nothing at all. Almost.

I don't want to become one of those people who is happy because of superficial and temporary things, like money or material stuff. I'll stick to the things with substance.