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Broadcasting live from the great and spacious building!
Contents:
Interview With Jeff Ricks, Host of PostMormon.org
Yeah, you read that right. It's almost one in the morning. I love you guys *that* much.
Jeff, you're a great guy. Thanks for your time on the phone, and thanks to all of you for waiting so long for this episode to come out. Keep those letters coming. We love hearing from you!
LDS Church Half Apologizes for Mountain Meadows Massacre
So the LDS issued an "apology" for the Mountain Meadows Massacre today. Well *whoop-tee-f**king-doo*. Where can I get baptized?
A Question for the Ages
For some time now, mankind has struggled with a single question. It is a question that has pushed the limits of our understanding, patience and endurance. It is a question that can be answered by one man, and one man only. And that question is...
Heavy Petting
When I was a kid, we had a parakeet named Lucky. Good name, really...
With Both Hands
So I'm in the restroom at the theater the other day, and after I wash my hands I go over to the paper towel dispenser...
What's New?
Episode 22 - Possummomma Goes to the Temple
Once upon a time in a town that was far off for some and not too far for others, there lived an intelligent and well-spoken possum. She had four little possums she loved very much. She worked very hard to make sure that each of them would grow up to be happy, fulfilled, and able to think for themselves. To the people around her, she hardly seemed the kind of person to ever stir up trouble. This was for the most part, true. But it wasn’t always that way...
Now With Chastity, For the Strength of Youth!
Got a couple of pamphlets from the Mormons recently...
A Few Things to Do When You're Bored
Or maybe not...
Jumpin' Jehova's Witnesses!
I've been tracted out! Visit the site to see the video.
An Overdue Response to the Blasphemy Challenge
Visit the site to see the video.
Happy Pioneer Day!
Ever wonder why Utahns celebrate Pioneer Day? It might not be what you thought.
Episode 21 - Peeves
Pssst! Hey--if you're reading this post on the toilet, we need to talk. When they say there's a time and a place for everything, they don't really mean *everything*. So wrap up your business on the can, wash your hands (and your Blackberry), and have a listen. We've got a few things to say to you.
Bonus Episode! - The View from the Exit Seat
You know the exit seats on the plane? I think they're a great place to sit for a couple of reasons. First, they're less restrictive because of all the leg room. Less restriction is good. Not only that, it's a great place to be if you ever need to get your ass out of the plane in a hurry.
Seven years ago today, I jumped from the exit seat of Mormonism straight onto the tarmac.
Episode 20 - The Millionth Mormon Missionary's Mom
Nannette was already sending the church $400 a month for the "blessing" of having her son on a mission when she got a worried email from him.
"Guess what?" he said. "They just cut our food budget from $145 a month to $130. It’s going to be really hard to eat well on that amount of money."
Episode 19 - An Atheist TV Host from the Buckle of the Bible Belt
What could an ex-Mormon possibly have in common with a former Southern Baptist who had every intention of someday becoming an ordained minister? Last week Heidi and I spent an hour on the phone with Matt Dillahunty, the president of the Austin Community of Atheists. He's the host of a weekly public access TV show in Austin called The Atheist Experience, and co-host of a podcast called the Non-Prophets.
Episode 18 - Tithing: God Wants Your Lunch Money
You think the tax man is bad? He also wants your nest egg and any fun money you have sitting around, and if he doesn't get it you are going to BURN.
Episode 17 - The Church of the Depressed
Do you remember the melancholy Mormon movies and filmstrips of the 70s, 80s and early 90s? You know--classics like the one with the depressed old lady and her chronically empty mailbox?
Please Hold
When Heidi and I started this whole podcasting thing, our intention was to release a new episode every week. For the most part, we've done that, thank you very much. Except for the week before last. And this week. Oops...
Episode 16 - Tis the Fairest Semi-Precious Gem
Say, what is truth? Well, the truth is, Heidi and Brynn were really sick last week and none of us felt much like putting a podcast together at all. So what's our excuse this week? Just lazy I guess.
Episode 15 - I'll See Your Pancakes, and Raise You a Sausage
If Pancakes and porn don't make you happy (and why on earth wouldn't they) then how about money?
Episode 14 - Out of the Frying Pan, Into Another Frying Pan
Doing their rational best, some people leave their religion once they discover it doesn't make sense. So if they're so smart, how do some of these people wind up neck deep again in the same mystical mindset?
Answering the Critics
I've apparently caused a little heartburn with a few readers over at
the Salt Lake Tribune. My letter to the editor was the fifth most visited article of
their online version yesterday.
Look! I'm (In)famous!
Just a quick addendum to last night's podcast. I'd like you to try something for me.
Hypocrisy For Sale
Just a quick addendum to last night's podcast. I'd like you to try something for me.
What Harm Does It Do?
As you abandon your pursuit of happiness and keep others from theirs, throw in a few financial and medical problems. Add a generous helping of undeserved guilt. Then, for good measure, postpone justice and murder a few million people in countless religious skirmishes, wars and crusades. What harm, you say? Don’t get us started.
Woo-Woo
A lot of the people who don't subscribe to podcasts like this do subscribe to woo-woo. We'll tell you how to recognize woo-woo when you see it and even teach you how to make. Hopefully our woo-woo is the only woo-woo you'll ever need.
Parenting Can Drive You to Drink
Especially when grandparents get involved. Enough said. Of course that won't stop us, so tune in for one of Doug's vintage rants while you're at it.
Speaking Objectively
I'd like to introduce you in this episode to a good friend of ours, Gail Paquette. She's been an Objectivist for over twenty years, and what's more, *she's nice*.
Peddling Porn to Priests
Things certainly happen for a reason. But is it the reason everyone seems to agree on, or is it something simpler?
Show and Tell
Here at Eight Hour Lunch, one of the things we consider very important is *evidence*. For example, in the last podcast I told you stories of sudden weight loss and a drug-addicted convert to the Mormon church...
Our Position on Missionary Work
Yeah, I went on a mission. Best two years of my life? Hardly. And I'll bet if you're reading this, it wasn't exactly the bowl of cherries they promised you. Or if it was, you got sent home early. Either way, we hope you enjoy the show.
That's My Girl
"Honey, would you like a plant for your bedroom?"
With Charity Like That, Who Needs Enemas?
We've got a good one for you this week...our first drink of the week from a listener, listener email and a short but energized discussion on the hypocrisy of religion when it comes to charity.
Crimes, Pregnancy and Punishment
Our crime was trying to predict the pregnancy in our future. The punishment, though pleasant, is parenthood. The problem with parenthood is proactively pointing your punk down a productive path without permanently poisoning your relationship. So please, put together a pick-me-up, pass this program around to a couple pals, and put us on your pod.
Judge Not That Ye...Uhh...Yeah. Never Mind.
Maintaining happy, healthy family relationships can be tricky enough, but when you have differing ideas of philosophy and religion is the resulting pressure something you can work around? You'll also want to tune in for a very special announcement.
Dear Doug
Last week I got an email from a reader that I'm sharing with her permission.
I can relate all too well to a lot of what she has to say, and it gave me a lot
to think about. I've done my best to answer, but I'd be happy to hear
from the rest of you as well.
When Homemade Curry and Armchair Philosophy Collide
Join us as Heidi walks us through what would otherwise be a pretty daunting task--making a delicious chicken curry on your own. If you don't tune in to this episode to learn how to cook, at least listen for the ideas. When you're done, I think you'll agree--her curry *is* great, and it might even teach you something valuable about life.
Celebrity To-Do List
Mix up the this week's cocktail and join us as we drool over the celebrities on our to-do list. The list isn't complete, and while we're at it, we'd like to hear who's on yours as well.
Bonus Episode! Noob Drinker's Guide
Noobie drinkers beware! If you're new to the world of alcohol, just getting started can be overwhelming. The culture, the wide variety of choices and the sheer volume of dos and don'ts will almost certainly make you feel foolish more than once--unless you're careful. Save yourself some hassle and embarrassment. Use us as your crash test dummies for before you navigate the supermarket, restaurants or liquor stores in pursuit of the perfect adult beverage. We'll share a few of the brands we like and a couple of our favorite recipes.
How I Lost My White Shirts, My Hair *and* My Religion
Heidi and I think that stories of how people left the Mormon, Catholic or (insert your former religion here) church all have one thing in common—they’re incredibly boring. But that didn’t keep us from recording an episode about it anyhow.
New Year's Resolution: Start a Podcast
Done. Well now. That was easy...
Sometimes You Just Have to Take a Break
There are times when it becomes painfully obvious that you've been working too much. Several years ago, I was working double shifts as a teacher at a local technical school.
Throw Me a Shovel--or Not
Assuming you were one of the fortunate few on whose house Mother Nature took an three-day long sparkling white dump, you may be tempted to clear your driveway and sidewalks.
Can You Blame Me?
A couple days ago, Heidi and I got an invitation in the mail to the annual family Xmas bash...
How the hell??
Amigurumi Kitten. I think Amigurumi means "How the hell did you do that???" in Japanese.
Elvis, Sasquatch, Vacations and other Urban Legends
Rumor has it that the Humphries family recently took a vacation in Southern California. See the photographic proof on Flickr and be amazed!!
Call Me Crazy, But...
I told the missionaries they could come over anytime they want...
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Show and Tell
What does a person bordering on narcissistic do when asked by a fellow blogger to show off some of his sketches? Why he shows them of course!
Delays, Delays
Delays, Delays
Shop Talk
A few milestones...
Too Lazy to Write
More photos of Rome.
IX Things I've Learned in Rome
Flush the toilet with the button on the wall. You'll find it at eye level behind the towels after swearing for about ten minutes...
When in Rome
OK, I didn't actually see any Romans taking pictures, but it's my first night here, and I couldn't help myself...
Fishing for an Answer
Now, I’m not much for tall tales or trusting unverified rumors, but some people believe in this guy named Moses who apparently led his enslaved people out of Egypt a few thousand years ago...
Shut Up and Smell the Roses
Headphones at work, car stereo, people, my kid, my wife, music at home, background music at the restaurant and in the grocery store. Hell, I’m even listening to my favorite blues podcast as I write this...
So Happy Together
Heidi and I have a screwy system of checks and balances...
Opening a Can of Smart-Ass
I love mixing words. Add a letter here, a letter there...change the order around around and I guarantee you, the new sentence is almost always more interesting than what you started out with...
Excuse 424 Why I Haven't Been Posting Much
I'll bet some of you are wondering why I haven't been posting.
I think this photo will help clear things up...
Reason 423 Why I Haven't Been Posting Much
Ok, this isn't really why, but...
The Blog Heard ‘Round the World
I have a guilty pleasure that I want to confess. Whenever I mention it, people always roll their eyes and groan...
A Bus Ride to Cajas
July 25, 1989 was a Tuesday, and my mission district had gotten permission for a rare full day off. Opportunities for sightseeing were uncommon, so we got up early and caught the first ride to Ecuador’s beautiful Cajas National Park.
Distracted
I really was working on a lenghty post last night, but then this happened:
Guacala
Early in our marriage, Heidi and I used to get in gross out contests with each other. The idea was to take turns telling each other stories that would make the other person lose their cool.
The Room
The Room is the working title for a story I'm devloping and
want to share with you all as I write it. It's pretty long, so I'll
be adding a fiction section to the site and posting it in installments.
If you enjoy it, please share it with your friends. For that matter,
share it with your enemies. As they say, there's no such thing as bad
publicity.
Welcome Feedster Users!
A big thanks to Feedster for featuring me as their Feed of the Day.
Go Ahead. Ask Me What Kind of Week I Had.
Sometimes I just need the weekend to be a month long.
You Can Probably Still Kick My Ass
But at least when you do, you'll be kicking the ass of someone who is trained in Hap Ki Do.
Another Best Month Ever
Hey everyone--thank you for another highest month of visitor traffic yet at Eight Hour Lunch!
Watching My Language
I've been fascinated with other languages since I was a kid. So when I was a junior in high school and found out I could take two years of French instead of the regular English classes, I jumped at the chance.
Class Action
Andrea Yates was determined not guilty for killing her kids yesterday by virtue of the fact that she is...
One in a Bazillion. BUH-ZILLION
My hell! Real men say bazillion! Just the same, I'd like to extend a hearty welcome to everyone from The Blog Reader!
Clean Flicks My ASS
This morning I stumbled on a local blogger’s post entitled Hollywood Hates You. He had a lot to say, but this paragraph should give you an idea of where he was headed:
Writing for a Younger Audience
Yesterday I ran some diagnostics against this site and discovered something interesting...
Digital Video Recluse
There was a time when I thought nothing could get in the way of my writing. Nothing. I had latched onto the large benevolent breast of the blogosphere and…ahem…heh! (Cough, cough). Sorry. I think that was just a dream I had last night. What I meant to say is that blogging has become something of an obsession for me.
The Smell of Burning Innocence
Back in third grade when I still thought a blowjob was a puff of air in your girlfriend's ear, my family moved to a new neighborhood. It was there that I made two new friends who would inalterably dirty my young, clean mind forever...
Life is...
Yesterday I took Brynn to see the doctor. We had a bit of a wait before we were seen, so she kept busy by reading the crafty décor on the walls. She paused on one, mouthed it, and then read it out loud.
Poppin Fresh HELL
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